You only hold me up like this
Cause you don't know who I really am

 ----------

He knew she was going to be there. She had to be. He tapped nervously on the bar with his forefinger as he scanned the room. The place was packed with people. Several eyes looked back at him but they weren’t the ones he was looking for. So he continued to tap and he continued to look. He couldn’t believe how anxious he was feeling at that moment. Who could blame him? It’s been almost three years since he’d seen or spoken to her. And now he was sitting on the same stool he sat on when he’d first met her. He didn’t exactly know what to do when he did find her. He didn’t know what to say. They were together for only a few hours and that was it. But those few hours meant the world to him.  He knew he wanted to see her. He had to.

“Hey, man. Can I get you a drink?” the bartender inquired of him. He was a tall, Irish guy with a full orange beard and black shirt. Pete stopped and looked at him for a minute; trying to recall if he’d seen him before. But he didn’t recognize him.

“No thanks,” he quickly replied. “But you might be able to help me. Does Alex Marshall still happen to work here?” Pete waited for a reply and half-heartedly wished that he'd say no. He hated confrontation. And now he wished he would have just gotten the drink.

The bartender smiled at hearing the name. “Alex? Yeah. Yeah. Lemme get her.” Pete’s heart dropped at hearing his reply. She was there. It was actually happening. He wanted to see her but he didn’t actually think he would. Before he came, he thought of different scenarios of how their reunion would go down but all of them ended up with them never actually meeting. He kept imagining what she probably looked like. Does she still have her beautiful red hair? Are her eyes the still shade of green? Was she still petite enough for him to hold in his arms? Different questions flowed through his mind as he waited. He started to brush his hair off his face as sweat started to gather on his forehead. He rubbed on his eye. He was so nervous he couldn’t sit still. He didn't exactly know what he was doing there. But he was glad. He was glad that he didn’t go through all the trouble of forcing his manager to book the place and not get what he sought after. A moment to see her again.

“Pete?” a melodic voice came from behind him. Just from hearing it, he knew right away it was her. He turned around and saw exactly what he came to see.

“Alex,” he said sounding more like a whimper. He felt his knees start to give but he held himself up. “I can’t believe it.”

He walked towards her. And as he did he couldn’t help but think how good she looked. Her hair was longer and wavy. Her skin was like porcelain. And her eyes were spellbinding. He sighed. He gave himself hell for not doing this sooner.  It could have been easier if he did. But his growing fame stopped him. He had his band. And during that time, that was what was important. She smiled at him. He looked good. Taller. After a few seconds of just looking at each other, they snapped out of it and hugged.

“Pete Wentz. Wow,” she didn’t know what to say. What was there to say? She couldn’t shake off the fact that he was a rock star now.  He and his band are known all over the world. He’s got celebrities phone numbers on his phone. Millions of girls drool over him. And all she was was a one night stand. A girl he wanted to bang. And all this time she thought he had forgotten about her. It was to be expected. “I see you’ve met my cousin.” She pointed at the bartender.

Pete laughed. He finally knew why he looked so familiar. “Yeah, you guys look terribly alike.”

They both laughed but it quickly subsided. There was an awkward silence after that. Pete looked around the room and Alex stared down at her boots. She didn’t think she’d see him again. The possibity of them meeting again was so unlikely to her. It had been three years since they last saw each other and one night didn’t seem like enough time to remember someone. Not her at least. Not some bartender in a dingy bar. She shifted her feet in her boots as she thought of this and meanwhile Pete examined her. He was curious as to what she was thinking. And Alex could feel the he was staring at her and it was making her feel uncomfortable.

“When my boss told me you guys booked the place for tonight I didn’t think you were gonna come,” she admitted. Pete raised his eyebrow at her.

“Why wouldn’t we?” Alex shrugged. Was he really asking that question?

“You guys are big now. I mean, you no longer have to sleep in a van,” Pete chuckled. She was right and he knew it. A lot of things have changed for him since they last laid their eyes on each other. He was living the dream. But none of it changed how he felt about her and all he wanted was to tell her that. He wanted her to know that every night since that one, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He wanted to tell her that even after he’d been with other women, they never compared to her. He wanted to tell her that he moved all the way to L.A. just so that he could be with her even if it meant giving up his life in Chicago. He wanted to tell her all. But before he could say anything she cut him off—“I think they’re calling you.” She pointed over at his band mates who were waving for him to come on stage. Bummer. He nodded disappointingly at his wasted attempt. He was so hyped up already but it had to be shot down. If only he could have a few more minutes. But he didn't so he smiled at her and turned on his heel.

“Wait,” she said before he was too far away. Pete swung around as quick as he could. Maybe his chance wasn't gone yet. “I’m closing up tonight. Maybe we could talk, you know, like last time.”

An opening. Pete’s smile was wider than ever. His attempt wasn’t wasted at all. Things seemed to be in his favor and he hoped that it would stay that way til the end of the night. He still had a shot. He didn't want to waste it. “Okay,” he said before he galloped towards the stage. She smiled as she watched him walk away from her. Another night with Pete, she thought. But Alex couldn’t help but feel like she did the wrong thing. She let Pete take over again. She had set herself up.

“We have to get out of here. My boss is going to kill me if he finds out we’re still here,” Alex said pulling Pete’s arm. He was drunk and she knew it. He’d been trying to impress her by drinking continuously after his first round which, in the end, failed to do its purpose. She laughed at his stupidity. It only took so much to impress her. He didn’t have to go to such lengths. But she was drawn to him. His amber eyes caught her off-guard but she never looked away. He got her in his spell. “Let’s go.” She pulled him off his stool. He finally gave in and allowed her to drag him.

They finally reached the door and she let him lean on a lamp post on the sidewalk while she locked up. Pete stared at her ass while she leaned down to secure the bottom locks. He snickered. He’d never seen one so perfectly plump. Alex heard him and she jolted up and stared at him with a menacing look and said—“what are you laughing at?”

He shook his head and tried to conceal his grin. Alex rolled her eyes at him and went to search for his band’s van. She looked up and down the street but found no signs of it. She huffed. “Why me??” she said to herself. She couldn’t possibly leave Pete on the street. And finding his van looked impossible considering her companion was almost unconscious. She stomped towards the idiot and shook him. He was falling asleep still leaning on the lamp post.

“Pete! Pete! Wake up!” she shook him harder this time. Finally, his eyes opened. “Do you have any way of contacting your friends?” She shrugged. He had closed his eyes again before he could give her an answer. She couldn’t help but growl. This was definitely not included in her paycheck, she thought. She was really annoyed now and she couldn't stop herself from looking at Pete with a little disgust. 4:09 AM, she read from her watch. Alex sighed. She was tired and, looking at Pete, she didn't she could drag him all the way to her apartment. Thankfully, there was a cab near by. She placed herself under Pete’s arm and helped him walk over to the cab. “I’m only letting you stay at my apartment because I don’t want to leave you here,” she said pulling him inside the taxi. “And I’d very much like it if you we’re gone by the time I woke up.” Pete nodded.

“You promised me something earlier and I’m hoping that you’d keep that promise,” Alex said to Pete while he lay lifeless on her couch. He didn't reply. She took a peak at where he lay and found that he was already asleep; snoring loudly for the next room to hear. "Unbelievable," she said under her breath. She couldn’t believe that she had a guy in her apartment and had only met him a few hours back. She kept thinking how her mother was to react if she knew about her predicament. She would never hear the end of it. After placing a glass of water on the table above Pete’s head tapping on his shoulder a few times and getting no answer, Alex dragged her feet towards her room to retreat. Her desk clock read 4:32 AM. A shifting sound came from outside her room and she checked to see if whether Pete had gotten up. But he was still lying down. Before she stepped back into her room, she thought how much of a slob he was.

As she brushed her hair in front of her bathroom mirror, Alex couldn’t help but remember what had gone down at the bar earlier that night:

 “Hey sweetface, I need a drink over here.” Alex just rolled her eyes. She could only take so many assholes in one day and for some reason this one she just didn’t like at all. She tried to ignore Pete’s demeaning comments and continued to get other people their drinks. But Pete wouldn’t be let down. He chuckled. “I was just kidding. Come on, don’t be mad.”

“Alright, what do you want?” Alex was still pissed. There was something about this guy that she didn’t like. He came off smug. Very smug. And all she wanted was to punch him on the nose but she didn't. She went to get his order hoping that she could get rid of him. But he just smiled and stared. “Okay. What’s your problem?”

Pete shook his head. “Nothing. I just wanted to see your face up close. You really are very beautiful.”

Alex clenched her jaw. Even though he didn’t sound as cocky as he did earlier and actually sounded very sincere, she flipped her lid. The fucking nerve of this guy, she screamed in her head. She threw her arms up in the air and splashed a very cold glass of water in his face. Everyone who was around gasped. Alex stormed off and left Pete surprised. Pete didn’t expect such a reaction. Normally, girls would swoon and blush. But never did he get such a response like that. People stared at him but he didn’t care. He was in complete shock. He looked at her still while she walked away from him. He sensed that she was hurt.

He was going to call her back but one of the other bartenders—bald and big—came and stopped him—“Hey man, I think you’ve said enough.” Pete did stop. He didn’t want to get into trouble especially when there’s a guy way bigger than he is in the way. He just wanted to apologize. But it seemed impossible to get her attention. She was on the other end of the bar and he big friend didn't show any signs of allowing him to get through. He just sat there; trying to think of a possible way to say sorry to her. And right away, an idea came to him. “Excuse me,” he said to the bartender. “Can I get a beer?”

The bartender couldn’t refuse and got him his beer. Pete drank it as quickly as he could before he called the bartender again and asked for another one. The bartender raised an eyebrow at him but agreed and set another cold bottle in front of him. Pete gulped it down with a much faster speed than he did the last and he waved for the bartender to hand him another one. “Dude, I think you need to slow down a bit,” the bartender recommended; figuring out what he was up to. But Pete wasn’t having any of it. Not knowing what to do, the bartender placed another beer in between Pete’s hands. It went on like that until Pete drank a total of 10 beers nonstop and right before he gulped down the last drop of his 10^th bottle, Pete was already waving for another.

 “Okay, man. I think that’s enough. You’re practically salivating booze. I can’t give you any more,” the bartender protested. But Pete rejected him and said—“I won’t stop until she’s the one who comes here to give me my beer, alright? If she doesn’t come, I’ll keep drinking. So you keep those beers coming.” Pete stood his ground. The bartender shook his head and retreated. He approached Alex and repeated what Pete had told him.

“I know. I heard him,” Alex said annoyed. The guy was playing her but she couldn’t just let the guy drown himself with beer. She was hesitant but all she did was  huff and walk towards Pete. “Alright, I’m here. Now would you stop? You’re scaring Jim.”

“Oh so that’s his name?” Pete said in punch-drunk way while pointing at his friendly bartender. He pouted at Alex hoping that somehow he could get some sympathy. But she scowled at him. “Hey hey. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for how I was acting earlier. I didn’t mean to offend you. I just wanted someone to talk to, that’s all. And you were the best candidate. I'm sorry if I thought you we're pretty. I was trying to pay a compliment.”

Alex shook her head. This guy is sick, she thought. But she liked his unusual apology. And even though she hated to admit it, she knew he was truly sorry. When he didn't get an answer from her, Pete potruded his lower lip farther hoping it would get to her soft side. It did and Alex smiled. She had never met anyone so stupid in her life. 

“You’ve been standing there for quite a while now. What are you thinking about?” Alex jumped. She turned to see Pete standing at the doorway with his head leaning on the post. Alex let a breath escape her lips. She didn't expect him to be awake for a few hours. She felt her cheeks begin to feel hot when she saw Pete smiling at her reaction. She was embarassed that someone had actually caught her in the middle of day dreaming. She grabbed her chest and tried to catch her breath. "Why are you up?" she asked him. He didn't say a word. He couldn’t stop thinking how gorgeous she was. Even as she spoke, none of her words were audible. He concentrated on her beauty that nothing else was sensible to him. Never had he seen a girl so pretty. She looked at him curiously as to what he could be thinking. He just stared at her.

After a few moments of silence, Pete suddenly moved towards to her. Inch by inch he grew nearer. Alex started to feel anxious. His advancements scared her but she didn't move or say a word. His eyes drew her. She couldn't stop looking at them and before she knew it he was at arms reach. He stopped before he went any nearer. He examined her for a few minutes; taking in her graceful form. She was everything he wanted in a girl. And he sailed closer until he was close enough to feel her breath. He slowly took his finger and trailed it along her arm. A breath quickly escaped Alex's lips as his finger reached her chest. He leaned his head down near her neck and blew his breath on her. Another breath escaped her lips as a tingling feeling rose up her spine. She could feel her heart beating faster and faster under her chest. After a few more seconds of Pete enticing her with his touch, Alex lost it. She grabbed his arms and pulled him closer to her; forcing him to place kisses on her collar bone and up her chin. She was screaming inside her head. She knew it wasn’t right but she couldn’t fight it. She cocked his head up and kissed his neck ferociously. Pete enjoyed it. Her lips were soft on his skin and it felt good. He couldn’t stop his excitement and Alex could feel it poking her. He then finally cupped her face with his hands and leaned close to press his lips on hers. Their tongues intertwined with each other. Their hands groped. Before they went any further, Alex drew her mouth near his ear and whispered—“Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, you walk into mine.”

That night, Alex forgot all her own dispositions and beliefs and made love to one Peter Wentz.

Alex stood there as Pete took the stage. She didn’t know how he did it but he did. After three years of not even speaking, he was able to tug at her heart strings. She felt stupid for feeling so much for someone she hardly even knew. But it wasn’t stupid. What she didn’t know was that Pete felt exactly the same. Never had he once been happier than the times he thought about their first kiss. She had him. But none of them could admit it until now.

“Hey guys,” Pete said into the mic while he looked directly at her. “We’re Fall Out Boy. And this first song is called Of All The Gin Joints In All The World.”

Alex’s eyes grew and she knew.

--------

I used to waste my time on
Waste my time dreaming of being alive
Now I only waste it dreaming of you.       

  (OR maybe you’re just sleeping with someone else and you want outtie from current relationship so you can go on with the affair with a clean conscience).

5. Whenever he/she tries to make plans with you, pretend to be busy.
            Make up silly stories (but be sure they’re plausible).

Scenario:

You’re at home and your boyfriend/ girlfriend asks you if you wanted to catch a movie that night. What do you say? Anything other than YES. Tell him/her that you already have plans. If you’re still in high school, say you’re grounded. ANYTHING OTHER THAN YES.

Because, seriously, you would much rather watch The O.C. on DVD rather than go out with him/her.

4. Do not initiate conversation.

            Don’t start them, don’t end them. Also, don’t seem interested when he/she is telling you any news or gossip. When he/she tells you how your friend from high school almost tried to kill himself by sipping detergent (even though you’re dying to know more information), you respond with “cool”, “sure”, or “okay”. Why? Because you’re just not interested.

3. When he/she comes over to your place (or vice versa), DO IT and pay them no attention afterwards.

            I’m not kidding. Right after sex you:

                    a) DO NOT CUDDLE
                    b) DO NOT TALK

            What CAN you do?

                    a) leave
                    b) use your computer
                    c) call somebody else
                    d) anything to avoid him/her

            It will make them think that you just want them for go time which is probably true.

2. Find ways in which you don’t have to say “I Love You”.
            You don’t necessarily have to avoid it completely.

            Example: When he/she says I love you, you can reply with:

a)      “love ya too” – its cheesy not romantic (**I can’t believe I suggested that)

b)      “and I to you” – so that you don’t have to say the word love. It also makes you sound well spoken.

Also, you can try not to actually say it. You simply don’t reply and tell them the next day you fell asleep (this only applies to text, of course-- so enjoy texters lol).

1. Always find an opportunity to sing My Chemical Romance’s “I Don’t Love You” when they’re around.

            Because what better way to say it than to sing it?? It’s a way of telling them without actually having to tell them in their face. (Hint: constantly say how much you love the song). Hopefully they’ll get the idea.

If all fails, just be a complete douchebag. If that doesn’t work, I don’t know what will.

Enjoy heart breakers.

I took a deep breath before I slowly pried my eyes open. I quickly shut them back again for the sunlight was blinding. Morning already? I asked myself. I didn’t even realize that both of us had fallen asleep up in the tree. I couldn’t seem to remember what had happened after we talked. I adjusted my eyes little by little to the sunlight that was glaring straight at me. As I did, I wondered if my parents were up waiting for me to get home. I wondered if they were out looking for me. The thoughts of them worrying pushed me to get up regardless of my tired state. I pried my eyes open again hoping I’d be able to beat the sun.
 

When I had finally been able to open my eyes completely, I couldn’t help but notice that I was actually lying down on my bed. How did I get here? I wondered. The idea of Patrick carrying me down a towering tree was clearly impossible. He must have called my parents because there was no way he could have done it all himself. Also, there was no way I could have been brought down a tree without my suspicion unless, of course, I was sedated. I wanted answers so I lifted my body up with my elbows and started to get out of my bed.

“You’re awake, finally,” an awfully familiar voice said. I got the strange feeling that I’ve heard it somewhere before. I turned around to see who it was and funnily Pete sat there on the edge of the bed the same way he did yesterday.

 
“Why are you here again? Aren’t you supposed to be packing? You’re leaving today,” I asked him while I slipped into my robe.
 

“I was bored so I checked to see if you could come out and play,” he answered. I raised an eyebrow at him. Again, it felt like I’ve heard it before. It might have been a bad case of déjà vu or maybe Pete was just repeating himself.
 

“Didn’t I already tell you yesterday that we’re too old for that kind of stuff?”
 

“Huh?”

“Yesterday, you were right there asking me the same thing,” I tried explaining. “Ah, never mind.”
 

He looked at me strange then. While I stared back at him, there was something about Pete that couldn’t be ignored: he was also wearing the same thing he did yesterday.
 

“Geez Peter, you could have at least changed your clothes. I am your friend but have the courtesy to dress up for my parents.”
 

“What are you talking about, Alice?? I’ve only worn this today.”
 

“Of course not. You wore that when you came over here yesterday. You were reading my journal remember?”
 

His face grew angry. I didn’t exactly know why but he looked at me like I was some lunatic. I rolled my eyes at him. I couldn’t figure him out sometimes so I just shrugged him off like I usually do. Besides, it wasn’t the time to argue about it. So, I started for the door.

 But something caught my eye before I could reach it. I turned around and looked back at Pete. On his lap, I saw my journal neatly opened. I raced towards him and leaped onto the bed trying to grab at it. But he was too quick. He took it from his lap before my hands could get a hold of it.

“Peter, you’ve read enough,” I said pleading.

“I’ve never seen this thing until today. I had no idea you kept a diary,” he said. How many times do I have to tell people it is not a diary, I thought to myself. But nothing could keep my mind away from the feeling that everything seemed to be repeating itself. I shook my head and told myself that it was nonsense. I looked up at Pete who was quietly waiting for me to pay him attention. He instantly smiled when our gazes met which made me smile too. His gopher teeth made my heart melt every time my eyes caught a glimpse of them. He then started to read out my entry from September 20, 1998. He then continued on to the entry that I wrote the date after that. Suddenly, a chill crawled up my spine. What is happening? I thought. I was only hoping that he wouldn’t ask me the question I knew would ask me next.

“What made you change your mind?” he asked. I wanted to faint. I couldn’t understand what was going on. Was I dreaming? I pinched myself as hard as I could; hoping that I would wake up but eventually failed. It all meant that what happened “yesterday” was all a dream. I had to find out if it truly was.

I looked up at him again. So that I wouldn’t anger him like I did earlier, I calmly explained to him, “that was the day I met him.”

“What’s wrong? Did I upset you?” he asked me. He must have seen the confusion in my face. I shook my head assuring him that I was fine. And he closed my journal and placed it where he had taken it from—under my pillow.
 

We both walked out of my room without saying a word to each other. Seeing my dad sitting lazily in the living room, Pete immediately darted towards that way. Avoiding weird situations was his specialty. I was glad of this; I didn’t want to have to say anything to break the silence.
 

I stepped into the kitchen and there was my mom prancing around like I knew she would. “So it was a dream,” I said to myself. My mother must have heard my voice; she turned to look at me and smiled before she laid the cookie sheet on the kitchen counter.

“Did you sleep well?” she asked.

“Yes I did, mom,” I said quite irritated. I don’t like having to repeat myself but I guess that didn’t really apply in that situation.

“That’s good, dear. Peter told me that you and Patrick talked last night…”
 

“Mom, I really don’t feel like talking about it right now,” I stopped her before she could continue. I didn’t want to get mad at her like I had in my dream. So I just promised her that I would tell her later. I had much more important things to think about. After she’d agreed and freed me from any further torture, she continued to march around the kitchen as I sat on my stool.

I figured that if everything was repeating themselves then Patrick would definitely come find me “again.” Despite the nervousness I felt, I couldn’t help the feeling of anticipation. I knew he’d come look for me there and I knew that I would have to be ready.
 

“There you are, Peter,” my mom said loudly which broke my train of thought. “Have a cookie dear.”
 

I ignored their little chit chat while I contemplated in my head the words I would say to him. He had his turn at the big speech and now it was mine. And this time, when I meet him, I wanted to be prepared.

“Pete, is it okay if I just maybe call you later? I have to go do something right now,” I said.

“Oh, sure,” he replied looking at the wall clock above me. “Oh shit.”

 
“Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III, you know very well there is no swearing in this household,” my mom scolded him. If I had a penny for every time my mom had to wash Pete’s mouth out with soap from all his swearing, I would probably be richer than him by now.
 

“Sorry. It’s just that I’m late to call my girlfriend,” with that he was out of the door. My mom shook her head and told me to remind her to wash his mouth out with soap the next time he comes over. I laughed a little. My mother was so old fashioned sometimes.
 

I walked out of the kitchen, after he’d left, with a cookie between my lips. I heard my dad snoring loudly in the living room. Pete must have kicked the energy out of him. I took a peek at him and indeed he was asleep. Trying to entertain Pete was like trying to sprint a whole 3 laps with bricks tied under your shoes; extremely tiring. My dad liked Pete but only from a certain point.

My body was beginning to feel tired as well. The idea of facing him again took a toll on me and I just felt like lying in bed. I didn’t want have to deal with it. I never thought the day would come that I actually had to speak to him, let alone patch things up. But I knew that we had to fix things.

I dragged myself into my bedroom to get dressed. My things were scattered around the room. I rummaged through my suitcases, which were yet to be unpacked, and found some decent clothes. I didn’t really have much since there was no point in looking glamorous in Uganda. Most of my clothes were composed of t-shirts and pants. I laid out a pair of jeans and a shirt Pete gave me that said ‘never buy a car you can’t push.” I looked at it a second time and wondered why he had given it. I would ask him another time but right now there were other things to do. I set it beside the pair of jeans on my bed and headed for the bathroom.

I didn’t bother to tell my parents that I was leaving. After I had taken a shower and got dressed, I just flew out the door, got into my dad’s car, and drove away. If I had told them where I was going, they wouldn’t call Patrick looking for me. I wanted to make sure that I was doing most of everything that happened in my dream right so that the events would fall right into place. So that when I got to the tree, Patrick would come and find me and I’d be there waiting.

This made me even more anxious that I started to drive faster. I couldn’t wait anymore. I wanted to get things over with. While I was in the shower, I was putting together the key points of my speech; making sure the lines I used weren’t stupid. I gripped the steering wheel tighter and tighter. I turned one more corner and down the road I could already see a glimpse of the golf course.

I steered the car down the road nearest to the tree and stopped it at the side of the road and placed the gear on park. I still held the steering wheel in my hands. My palms started to get sweaty.

“What am I doing?” I said to myself. I was about to confront the person who was last in my list of people I needed to talk to. I started to doubt if I actually put him in that list; if I actually wanted to talk to him. My head began to hurt and I leaned it on the steering wheel in front of me. I stared at the speedometer while I gave myself all the reasons why I should turn back and drive home. But I didn’t listen to any of them. I leaned back on my seat again. The steering wheel left a mark on my forehead—a think red line across my face. How appropriate, I thought to myself and started rubbing at it.

After I had almost removed the sausage from my forehead, I finally decided to get out of the car. My whole body started to shake as I grabbed the key from the ignition. I stepped out from the car and walked towards the fence the separated me and the tree. I looked up at the tree from behind the fence and shook my head. I couldn’t believe that I was actually there. I swore that I would never come back to Chicago. And now I was about to meet the reason why I left in the first place. 

I looked around for the broken part of the fence where we would usually squeeze through. My shirt got caught in one of the wires but I got it out before it could rip. I remembered then how Patrick’s shirt once ripped from one of the wires. That was the first time I had seen skin apart from the ones on his arms, legs, face, and neck. I had blushed when I had seen it and so did he.

The green of the golf course looked greener than I recalled. I looked down at my feet and started stomping on it. That released a bit of the tension that I was feeling. I leaned against the trunk of the tree and stared at the golfers that were approaching. We never got caught whenever we snuck in so I quickly climbed the tree to avoid anyone catching me.

I was finally up the tree. Instead of sitting back on the trunk, I wanted to lie down. I felt a bit nauseous being up there and knowing what was to come. A squirrel was crawling amongst the branches right above me. I watched as its fragile body glided along each narrow branch. I imagined how it would be if it ever slipped. Its tiny body would plummet to the ground.

I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to witness it if it actually happened. I tried to remember how this part of my dream went by. I opened my eyes and lifted my body up again. My head stopped spinning then. He came when it was dark, I thought. I remembered now that when I had opened my eyes to his voice the stars were glistening behind the branches, behind the leaves, and behind him. He looked magnificent. His pale skin was beautiful  against the dark sky. The sun was still quite far away from the horizon when I checked so I went back to lying down and took a nap. He would wake me up eventually.

My eyes shot open at the sound of rushing winds. It was already dark out but it wasn’t what I had expected to happen. The winds grew stronger and it grew colder. I held my body in my arms as tight as I could to keep myself somewhat warm. I looked around for any sign of him. No one was around, my dad’s car sat lonely by the curb, and the golf club looked like it had already closed. I leaned over the edge of the curb hoping I would see him climbing up. But the mass of branches and leaves were too thick that I could only a few meters away.

“Patrick?” I called out anticipating his answer. But there was none. I began to enumerate several excuses for him. He could be caught in traffic. But it was the suburbs; there is hardly any traffic. Maybe I might have awoken too early. But the evidences all say that it was already late. My mind kept arguing with itself.

Then a loud tremendous thunder struck. I looked up at the sky and saw no stars. It was all a stretch of black from behind the branches and the leaves. As I was looking up, a drop of water landed on my lip. I wiped it away with the back of my hand as several other drops started to fall around me. Then there was a crashing sound that came from afar. Before I knew it, I was soaked with the rain that was descending upon me. I lifted both my hands up to my face and watched as my palms gathered water in them. And as I felt the rain trickle down my face unanimously with my tears, I was sure that he was no longer coming for me. He left me again.

*****

please leave any criticism. I don't really mind. I want to know what you guys want to get from this as well.  I'm already in the process of writing the 5th chapter so hold on tight. thanks for reading!