theres a light on in Chicago and I know I should be home.

5 hints you can give your lover to make him/her “feel” like you don’t love him/her anymore

  (OR maybe you’re just sleeping with someone else and you want outtie from current relationship so you can go on with the affair with a clean conscience).

5. Whenever he/she tries to make plans with you, pretend to be busy.
            Make up silly stories (but be sure they’re plausible).

Scenario:

You’re at home and your boyfriend/ girlfriend asks you if you wanted to catch a movie that night. What do you say? Anything other than YES. Tell him/her that you already have plans. If you’re still in high school, say you’re grounded. ANYTHING OTHER THAN YES.

Because, seriously, you would much rather watch The O.C. on DVD rather than go out with him/her.

4. Do not initiate conversation.

            Don’t start them, don’t end them. Also, don’t seem interested when he/she is telling you any news or gossip. When he/she tells you how your friend from high school almost tried to kill himself by sipping detergent (even though you’re dying to know more information), you respond with “cool”, “sure”, or “okay”. Why? Because you’re just not interested.

3. When he/she comes over to your place (or vice versa), DO IT and pay them no attention afterwards.

            I’m not kidding. Right after sex you:

                    a) DO NOT CUDDLE
                    b) DO NOT TALK

            What CAN you do?

                    a) leave
                    b) use your computer
                    c) call somebody else
                    d) anything to avoid him/her

            It will make them think that you just want them for go time which is probably true.

2. Find ways in which you don’t have to say “I Love You”.
            You don’t necessarily have to avoid it completely.

            Example: When he/she says I love you, you can reply with:

a)      “love ya too” – its cheesy not romantic (**I can’t believe I suggested that)

b)      “and I to you” – so that you don’t have to say the word love. It also makes you sound well spoken.

Also, you can try not to actually say it. You simply don’t reply and tell them the next day you fell asleep (this only applies to text, of course-- so enjoy texters lol).

1. Always find an opportunity to sing My Chemical Romance’s “I Don’t Love You” when they’re around.

            Because what better way to say it than to sing it?? It’s a way of telling them without actually having to tell them in their face. (Hint: constantly say how much you love the song). Hopefully they’ll get the idea.

If all fails, just be a complete douchebag. If that doesn’t work, I don’t know what will.

Enjoy heart breakers.