theres a light on in Chicago and I know I should be home.

Okay. This my ever first one shot and it's about Pete. Its weird that he had to announce their engagement the day after I started writing this. Actually it was more annoying than weird. Anyway, its okay. Please leave constructive criticisms after. I'd really like it if you'd tell me what you think. I'm kinda annoyed at it. Oh well. I wanna dedicate this to my friend Nicole. Just coz.

 

You only hold me up like this
Cause you don't know who I really am

 ----------

He knew she was going to be there. She had to be. He tapped nervously on the bar with his forefinger as he scanned the room. The place was packed with people. Several eyes looked back at him but they weren’t the ones he was looking for. So he continued to tap and he continued to look. He couldn’t believe how anxious he was feeling at that moment. Who could blame him? It’s been almost three years since he’d seen or spoken to her. And now he was sitting on the same stool he sat on when he’d first met her. He didn’t exactly know what to do when he did find her. He didn’t know what to say. They were together for only a few hours and that was it. But those few hours meant the world to him.  He knew he wanted to see her. He had to.

“Hey, man. Can I get you a drink?” the bartender inquired of him. He was a tall, Irish guy with a full orange beard and black shirt. Pete stopped and looked at him for a minute; trying to recall if he’d seen him before. But he didn’t recognize him.

“No thanks,” he quickly replied. “But you might be able to help me. Does Alex Marshall still happen to work here?” Pete waited for a reply and half-heartedly wished that he'd say no. He hated confrontation. And now he wished he would have just gotten the drink.

The bartender smiled at hearing the name. “Alex? Yeah. Yeah. Lemme get her.” Pete’s heart dropped at hearing his reply. She was there. It was actually happening. He wanted to see her but he didn’t actually think he would. Before he came, he thought of different scenarios of how their reunion would go down but all of them ended up with them never actually meeting. He kept imagining what she probably looked like. Does she still have her beautiful red hair? Are her eyes the still shade of green? Was she still petite enough for him to hold in his arms? Different questions flowed through his mind as he waited. He started to brush his hair off his face as sweat started to gather on his forehead. He rubbed on his eye. He was so nervous he couldn’t sit still. He didn't exactly know what he was doing there. But he was glad. He was glad that he didn’t go through all the trouble of forcing his manager to book the place and not get what he sought after. A moment to see her again.

“Pete?” a melodic voice came from behind him. Just from hearing it, he knew right away it was her. He turned around and saw exactly what he came to see.

“Alex,” he said sounding more like a whimper. He felt his knees start to give but he held himself up. “I can’t believe it.”

He walked towards her. And as he did he couldn’t help but think how good she looked. Her hair was longer and wavy. Her skin was like porcelain. And her eyes were spellbinding. He sighed. He gave himself hell for not doing this sooner.  It could have been easier if he did. But his growing fame stopped him. He had his band. And during that time, that was what was important. She smiled at him. He looked good. Taller. After a few seconds of just looking at each other, they snapped out of it and hugged.

“Pete Wentz. Wow,” she didn’t know what to say. What was there to say? She couldn’t shake off the fact that he was a rock star now.  He and his band are known all over the world. He’s got celebrities phone numbers on his phone. Millions of girls drool over him. And all she was was a one night stand. A girl he wanted to bang. And all this time she thought he had forgotten about her. It was to be expected. “I see you’ve met my cousin.” She pointed at the bartender.

Pete laughed. He finally knew why he looked so familiar. “Yeah, you guys look terribly alike.”

They both laughed but it quickly subsided. There was an awkward silence after that. Pete looked around the room and Alex stared down at her boots. She didn’t think she’d see him again. The possibity of them meeting again was so unlikely to her. It had been three years since they last saw each other and one night didn’t seem like enough time to remember someone. Not her at least. Not some bartender in a dingy bar. She shifted her feet in her boots as she thought of this and meanwhile Pete examined her. He was curious as to what she was thinking. And Alex could feel the he was staring at her and it was making her feel uncomfortable.

“When my boss told me you guys booked the place for tonight I didn’t think you were gonna come,” she admitted. Pete raised his eyebrow at her.

“Why wouldn’t we?” Alex shrugged. Was he really asking that question?

“You guys are big now. I mean, you no longer have to sleep in a van,” Pete chuckled. She was right and he knew it. A lot of things have changed for him since they last laid their eyes on each other. He was living the dream. But none of it changed how he felt about her and all he wanted was to tell her that. He wanted her to know that every night since that one, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. He wanted to tell her that even after he’d been with other women, they never compared to her. He wanted to tell her that he moved all the way to L.A. just so that he could be with her even if it meant giving up his life in Chicago. He wanted to tell her all. But before he could say anything she cut him off—“I think they’re calling you.” She pointed over at his band mates who were waving for him to come on stage. Bummer. He nodded disappointingly at his wasted attempt. He was so hyped up already but it had to be shot down. If only he could have a few more minutes. But he didn't so he smiled at her and turned on his heel.

“Wait,” she said before he was too far away. Pete swung around as quick as he could. Maybe his chance wasn't gone yet. “I’m closing up tonight. Maybe we could talk, you know, like last time.”

An opening. Pete’s smile was wider than ever. His attempt wasn’t wasted at all. Things seemed to be in his favor and he hoped that it would stay that way til the end of the night. He still had a shot. He didn't want to waste it. “Okay,” he said before he galloped towards the stage. She smiled as she watched him walk away from her. Another night with Pete, she thought. But Alex couldn’t help but feel like she did the wrong thing. She let Pete take over again. She had set herself up.

 

“We have to get out of here. My boss is going to kill me if he finds out we’re still here,” Alex said pulling Pete’s arm. He was drunk and she knew it. He’d been trying to impress her by drinking continuously after his first round which, in the end, failed to do its purpose. She laughed at his stupidity. It only took so much to impress her. He didn’t have to go to such lengths. But she was drawn to him. His amber eyes caught her off-guard but she never looked away. He got her in his spell. “Let’s go.” She pulled him off his stool. He finally gave in and allowed her to drag him.

They finally reached the door and she let him lean on a lamp post on the sidewalk while she locked up. Pete stared at her ass while she leaned down to secure the bottom locks. He snickered. He’d never seen one so perfectly plump. Alex heard him and she jolted up and stared at him with a menacing look and said—“what are you laughing at?”

He shook his head and tried to conceal his grin. Alex rolled her eyes at him and went to search for his band’s van. She looked up and down the street but found no signs of it. She huffed. “Why me??” she said to herself. She couldn’t possibly leave Pete on the street. And finding his van looked impossible considering her companion was almost unconscious. She stomped towards the idiot and shook him. He was falling asleep still leaning on the lamp post.

“Pete! Pete! Wake up!” she shook him harder this time. Finally, his eyes opened. “Do you have any way of contacting your friends?” She shrugged. He had closed his eyes again before he could give her an answer. She couldn’t help but growl. This was definitely not included in her paycheck, she thought. She was really annoyed now and she couldn't stop herself from looking at Pete with a little disgust. 4:09 AM, she read from her watch. Alex sighed. She was tired and, looking at Pete, she didn't she could drag him all the way to her apartment. Thankfully, there was a cab near by. She placed herself under Pete’s arm and helped him walk over to the cab. “I’m only letting you stay at my apartment because I don’t want to leave you here,” she said pulling him inside the taxi. “And I’d very much like it if you we’re gone by the time I woke up.” Pete nodded.

 

“You promised me something earlier and I’m hoping that you’d keep that promise,” Alex said to Pete while he lay lifeless on her couch. He didn't reply. She took a peak at where he lay and found that he was already asleep; snoring loudly for the next room to hear. "Unbelievable," she said under her breath. She couldn’t believe that she had a guy in her apartment and had only met him a few hours back. She kept thinking how her mother was to react if she knew about her predicament. She would never hear the end of it. After placing a glass of water on the table above Pete’s head tapping on his shoulder a few times and getting no answer, Alex dragged her feet towards her room to retreat. Her desk clock read 4:32 AM. A shifting sound came from outside her room and she checked to see if whether Pete had gotten up. But he was still lying down. Before she stepped back into her room, she thought how much of a slob he was.

As she brushed her hair in front of her bathroom mirror, Alex couldn’t help but remember what had gone down at the bar earlier that night:

 “Hey sweetface, I need a drink over here.” Alex just rolled her eyes. She could only take so many assholes in one day and for some reason this one she just didn’t like at all. She tried to ignore Pete’s demeaning comments and continued to get other people their drinks. But Pete wouldn’t be let down. He chuckled. “I was just kidding. Come on, don’t be mad.”

“Alright, what do you want?” Alex was still pissed. There was something about this guy that she didn’t like. He came off smug. Very smug. And all she wanted was to punch him on the nose but she didn't. She went to get his order hoping that she could get rid of him. But he just smiled and stared. “Okay. What’s your problem?”

Pete shook his head. “Nothing. I just wanted to see your face up close. You really are very beautiful.”

Alex clenched her jaw. Even though he didn’t sound as cocky as he did earlier and actually sounded very sincere, she flipped her lid. The fucking nerve of this guy, she screamed in her head. She threw her arms up in the air and splashed a very cold glass of water in his face. Everyone who was around gasped. Alex stormed off and left Pete surprised. Pete didn’t expect such a reaction. Normally, girls would swoon and blush. But never did he get such a response like that. People stared at him but he didn’t care. He was in complete shock. He looked at her still while she walked away from him. He sensed that she was hurt.

He was going to call her back but one of the other bartenders—bald and big—came and stopped him—“Hey man, I think you’ve said enough.” Pete did stop. He didn’t want to get into trouble especially when there’s a guy way bigger than he is in the way. He just wanted to apologize. But it seemed impossible to get her attention. She was on the other end of the bar and he big friend didn't show any signs of allowing him to get through. He just sat there; trying to think of a possible way to say sorry to her. And right away, an idea came to him. “Excuse me,” he said to the bartender. “Can I get a beer?”

The bartender couldn’t refuse and got him his beer. Pete drank it as quickly as he could before he called the bartender again and asked for another one. The bartender raised an eyebrow at him but agreed and set another cold bottle in front of him. Pete gulped it down with a much faster speed than he did the last and he waved for the bartender to hand him another one. “Dude, I think you need to slow down a bit,” the bartender recommended; figuring out what he was up to. But Pete wasn’t having any of it. Not knowing what to do, the bartender placed another beer in between Pete’s hands. It went on like that until Pete drank a total of 10 beers nonstop and right before he gulped down the last drop of his 10^th bottle, Pete was already waving for another.

 “Okay, man. I think that’s enough. You’re practically salivating booze. I can’t give you any more,” the bartender protested. But Pete rejected him and said—“I won’t stop until she’s the one who comes here to give me my beer, alright? If she doesn’t come, I’ll keep drinking. So you keep those beers coming.” Pete stood his ground. The bartender shook his head and retreated. He approached Alex and repeated what Pete had told him.

“I know. I heard him,” Alex said annoyed. The guy was playing her but she couldn’t just let the guy drown himself with beer. She was hesitant but all she did was  huff and walk towards Pete. “Alright, I’m here. Now would you stop? You’re scaring Jim.”

“Oh so that’s his name?” Pete said in punch-drunk way while pointing at his friendly bartender. He pouted at Alex hoping that somehow he could get some sympathy. But she scowled at him. “Hey hey. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for how I was acting earlier. I didn’t mean to offend you. I just wanted someone to talk to, that’s all. And you were the best candidate. I'm sorry if I thought you we're pretty. I was trying to pay a compliment.”

Alex shook her head. This guy is sick, she thought. But she liked his unusual apology. And even though she hated to admit it, she knew he was truly sorry. When he didn't get an answer from her, Pete potruded his lower lip farther hoping it would get to her soft side. It did and Alex smiled. She had never met anyone so stupid in her life. 

“You’ve been standing there for quite a while now. What are you thinking about?” Alex jumped. She turned to see Pete standing at the doorway with his head leaning on the post. Alex let a breath escape her lips. She didn't expect him to be awake for a few hours. She felt her cheeks begin to feel hot when she saw Pete smiling at her reaction. She was embarassed that someone had actually caught her in the middle of day dreaming. She grabbed her chest and tried to catch her breath. "Why are you up?" she asked him. He didn't say a word. He couldn’t stop thinking how gorgeous she was. Even as she spoke, none of her words were audible. He concentrated on her beauty that nothing else was sensible to him. Never had he seen a girl so pretty. She looked at him curiously as to what he could be thinking. He just stared at her.

After a few moments of silence, Pete suddenly moved towards to her. Inch by inch he grew nearer. Alex started to feel anxious. His advancements scared her but she didn't move or say a word. His eyes drew her. She couldn't stop looking at them and before she knew it he was at arms reach. He stopped before he went any nearer. He examined her for a few minutes; taking in her graceful form. She was everything he wanted in a girl. And he sailed closer until he was close enough to feel her breath. He slowly took his finger and trailed it along her arm. A breath quickly escaped Alex's lips as his finger reached her chest. He leaned his head down near her neck and blew his breath on her. Another breath escaped her lips as a tingling feeling rose up her spine. She could feel her heart beating faster and faster under her chest. After a few more seconds of Pete enticing her with his touch, Alex lost it. She grabbed his arms and pulled him closer to her; forcing him to place kisses on her collar bone and up her chin. She was screaming inside her head. She knew it wasn’t right but she couldn’t fight it. She cocked his head up and kissed his neck ferociously. Pete enjoyed it. Her lips were soft on his skin and it felt good. He couldn’t stop his excitement and Alex could feel it poking her. He then finally cupped her face with his hands and leaned close to press his lips on hers. Their tongues intertwined with each other. Their hands groped. Before they went any further, Alex drew her mouth near his ear and whispered—“Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, you walk into mine.”

That night, Alex forgot all her own dispositions and beliefs and made love to one Peter Wentz.

 

Alex stood there as Pete took the stage. She didn’t know how he did it but he did. After three years of not even speaking, he was able to tug at her heart strings. She felt stupid for feeling so much for someone she hardly even knew. But it wasn’t stupid. What she didn’t know was that Pete felt exactly the same. Never had he once been happier than the times he thought about their first kiss. She had him. But none of them could admit it until now.

“Hey guys,” Pete said into the mic while he looked directly at her. “We’re Fall Out Boy. And this first song is called Of All The Gin Joints In All The World.”

Alex’s eyes grew and she knew.

--------

I used to waste my time on
Waste my time dreaming of being alive
Now I only waste it dreaming of you.       

 

 

 

congratulations to them! they deserve each other.

but I think now is the time for a helpful tip from me...
I believe we all have to equip ourselves with this:







and possibly a few firearms. because seriously, it just might come to that.


and oh ya, you're welcome.

5 hints you can give your lover to make him/her “feel” like you don’t love him/her anymore

  (OR maybe you’re just sleeping with someone else and you want outtie from current relationship so you can go on with the affair with a clean conscience).

 

5. Whenever he/she tries to make plans with you, pretend to be busy.
            Make up silly stories (but be sure they’re plausible).

Scenario:

You’re at home and your boyfriend/ girlfriend asks you if you wanted to catch a movie that night. What do you say? Anything other than YES. Tell him/her that you already have plans. If you’re still in high school, say you’re grounded. ANYTHING OTHER THAN YES.

Because, seriously, you would much rather watch The O.C. on DVD rather than go out with him/her.

4. Do not initiate conversation.

            Don’t start them, don’t end them. Also, don’t seem interested when he/she is telling you any news or gossip. When he/she tells you how your friend from high school almost tried to kill himself by sipping detergent (even though you’re dying to know more information), you respond with “cool”, “sure”, or “okay”. Why? Because you’re just not interested.

 

3. When he/she comes over to your place (or vice versa), DO IT and pay them no attention afterwards.

            I’m not kidding. Right after sex you:

                    a) DO NOT CUDDLE
                    b) DO NOT TALK

            What CAN you do?

                    a) leave
                    b) use your computer
                    c) call somebody else
                    d) anything to avoid him/her

            It will make them think that you just want them for go time which is probably true.

 

2. Find ways in which you don’t have to say “I Love You”.
            You don’t necessarily have to avoid it completely.

            Example: When he/she says I love you, you can reply with:

a)      “love ya too” – its cheesy not romantic (**I can’t believe I suggested that)

b)      “and I to you” – so that you don’t have to say the word love. It also makes you sound well spoken.

Also, you can try not to actually say it. You simply don’t reply and tell them the next day you fell asleep (this only applies to text, of course-- so enjoy texters lol).

 

1. Always find an opportunity to sing My Chemical Romance’s “I Don’t Love You” when they’re around.

            Because what better way to say it than to sing it?? It’s a way of telling them without actually having to tell them in their face. (Hint: constantly say how much you love the song). Hopefully they’ll get the idea.

 

If all fails, just be a complete douchebag. If that doesn’t work, I don’t know what will.

Enjoy heart breakers.

  "Please don't leave," I started to tear up. "Just give me time. I just need time to adjust." I was sobbing now. He kneeled down in front of me and placed my face in his hands. He softly stroked my cheek with his thumb. It tingled.

    "Never again," he promised. His breath blowed on my face. I looked down. On his jeans, there was a rip that I didn't notice earlier. I moved my face away from his hands to look at it. There was a cut on his knee and it still had not stopped bleeding.

    "You hurt yourself," I said as I held his knee.

    "I'm fine," he assured me. I asked him again if he was okay and he said "yes I'm good. Are we good?"

    I nodded. Yeah, we're good.

 

 

I took a deep breath before I slowly pried my eyes open. I quickly shut them back again for the sunlight was blinding. Morning already? I asked myself. I didn’t even realize that both of us had fallen asleep up in the tree. I couldn’t seem to remember what had happened after we talked. I adjusted my eyes little by little to the sunlight that was glaring straight at me. As I did, I wondered if my parents were up waiting for me to get home. I wondered if they were out looking for me. The thoughts of them worrying pushed me to get up regardless of my tired state. I pried my eyes open again hoping I’d be able to beat the sun.
 

When I had finally been able to open my eyes completely, I couldn’t help but notice that I was actually lying down on my bed. How did I get here? I wondered. The idea of Patrick carrying me down a towering tree was clearly impossible. He must have called my parents because there was no way he could have done it all himself. Also, there was no way I could have been brought down a tree without my suspicion unless, of course, I was sedated. I wanted answers so I lifted my body up with my elbows and started to get out of my bed.

“You’re awake, finally,” an awfully familiar voice said. I got the strange feeling that I’ve heard it somewhere before. I turned around to see who it was and funnily Pete sat there on the edge of the bed the same way he did yesterday.

 
“Why are you here again? Aren’t you supposed to be packing? You’re leaving today,” I asked him while I slipped into my robe.
 

“I was bored so I checked to see if you could come out and play,” he answered. I raised an eyebrow at him. Again, it felt like I’ve heard it before. It might have been a bad case of déjà vu or maybe Pete was just repeating himself.
 

“Didn’t I already tell you yesterday that we’re too old for that kind of stuff?”
 

“Huh?”

“Yesterday, you were right there asking me the same thing,” I tried explaining. “Ah, never mind.”
 

He looked at me strange then. While I stared back at him, there was something about Pete that couldn’t be ignored: he was also wearing the same thing he did yesterday.
 

“Geez Peter, you could have at least changed your clothes. I am your friend but have the courtesy to dress up for my parents.”
 

“What are you talking about, Alice?? I’ve only worn this today.”
 

“Of course not. You wore that when you came over here yesterday. You were reading my journal remember?”
 

His face grew angry. I didn’t exactly know why but he looked at me like I was some lunatic. I rolled my eyes at him. I couldn’t figure him out sometimes so I just shrugged him off like I usually do. Besides, it wasn’t the time to argue about it. So, I started for the door.

 But something caught my eye before I could reach it. I turned around and looked back at Pete. On his lap, I saw my journal neatly opened. I raced towards him and leaped onto the bed trying to grab at it. But he was too quick. He took it from his lap before my hands could get a hold of it.

“Peter, you’ve read enough,” I said pleading.

“I’ve never seen this thing until today. I had no idea you kept a diary,” he said. How many times do I have to tell people it is not a diary, I thought to myself. But nothing could keep my mind away from the feeling that everything seemed to be repeating itself. I shook my head and told myself that it was nonsense. I looked up at Pete who was quietly waiting for me to pay him attention. He instantly smiled when our gazes met which made me smile too. His gopher teeth made my heart melt every time my eyes caught a glimpse of them. He then started to read out my entry from September 20, 1998. He then continued on to the entry that I wrote the date after that. Suddenly, a chill crawled up my spine. What is happening? I thought. I was only hoping that he wouldn’t ask me the question I knew would ask me next.

“What made you change your mind?” he asked. I wanted to faint. I couldn’t understand what was going on. Was I dreaming? I pinched myself as hard as I could; hoping that I would wake up but eventually failed. It all meant that what happened “yesterday” was all a dream. I had to find out if it truly was.

I looked up at him again. So that I wouldn’t anger him like I did earlier, I calmly explained to him, “that was the day I met him.”

“What’s wrong? Did I upset you?” he asked me. He must have seen the confusion in my face. I shook my head assuring him that I was fine. And he closed my journal and placed it where he had taken it from—under my pillow.
 

We both walked out of my room without saying a word to each other. Seeing my dad sitting lazily in the living room, Pete immediately darted towards that way. Avoiding weird situations was his specialty. I was glad of this; I didn’t want to have to say anything to break the silence.
 

I stepped into the kitchen and there was my mom prancing around like I knew she would. “So it was a dream,” I said to myself. My mother must have heard my voice; she turned to look at me and smiled before she laid the cookie sheet on the kitchen counter.

“Did you sleep well?” she asked.

“Yes I did, mom,” I said quite irritated. I don’t like having to repeat myself but I guess that didn’t really apply in that situation.

“That’s good, dear. Peter told me that you and Patrick talked last night…”
 

“Mom, I really don’t feel like talking about it right now,” I stopped her before she could continue. I didn’t want to get mad at her like I had in my dream. So I just promised her that I would tell her later. I had much more important things to think about. After she’d agreed and freed me from any further torture, she continued to march around the kitchen as I sat on my stool.

I figured that if everything was repeating themselves then Patrick would definitely come find me “again.” Despite the nervousness I felt, I couldn’t help the feeling of anticipation. I knew he’d come look for me there and I knew that I would have to be ready.
 

“There you are, Peter,” my mom said loudly which broke my train of thought. “Have a cookie dear.”
 

I ignored their little chit chat while I contemplated in my head the words I would say to him. He had his turn at the big speech and now it was mine. And this time, when I meet him, I wanted to be prepared.

“Pete, is it okay if I just maybe call you later? I have to go do something right now,” I said.

“Oh, sure,” he replied looking at the wall clock above me. “Oh shit.”

 
“Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III, you know very well there is no swearing in this household,” my mom scolded him. If I had a penny for every time my mom had to wash Pete’s mouth out with soap from all his swearing, I would probably be richer than him by now.
 

“Sorry. It’s just that I’m late to call my girlfriend,” with that he was out of the door. My mom shook her head and told me to remind her to wash his mouth out with soap the next time he comes over. I laughed a little. My mother was so old fashioned sometimes.
 

I walked out of the kitchen, after he’d left, with a cookie between my lips. I heard my dad snoring loudly in the living room. Pete must have kicked the energy out of him. I took a peek at him and indeed he was asleep. Trying to entertain Pete was like trying to sprint a whole 3 laps with bricks tied under your shoes; extremely tiring. My dad liked Pete but only from a certain point.

My body was beginning to feel tired as well. The idea of facing him again took a toll on me and I just felt like lying in bed. I didn’t want have to deal with it. I never thought the day would come that I actually had to speak to him, let alone patch things up. But I knew that we had to fix things.

I dragged myself into my bedroom to get dressed. My things were scattered around the room. I rummaged through my suitcases, which were yet to be unpacked, and found some decent clothes. I didn’t really have much since there was no point in looking glamorous in Uganda. Most of my clothes were composed of t-shirts and pants. I laid out a pair of jeans and a shirt Pete gave me that said ‘never buy a car you can’t push.” I looked at it a second time and wondered why he had given it. I would ask him another time but right now there were other things to do. I set it beside the pair of jeans on my bed and headed for the bathroom.

 

 

I didn’t bother to tell my parents that I was leaving. After I had taken a shower and got dressed, I just flew out the door, got into my dad’s car, and drove away. If I had told them where I was going, they wouldn’t call Patrick looking for me. I wanted to make sure that I was doing most of everything that happened in my dream right so that the events would fall right into place. So that when I got to the tree, Patrick would come and find me and I’d be there waiting.

This made me even more anxious that I started to drive faster. I couldn’t wait anymore. I wanted to get things over with. While I was in the shower, I was putting together the key points of my speech; making sure the lines I used weren’t stupid. I gripped the steering wheel tighter and tighter. I turned one more corner and down the road I could already see a glimpse of the golf course.

I steered the car down the road nearest to the tree and stopped it at the side of the road and placed the gear on park. I still held the steering wheel in my hands. My palms started to get sweaty.

 

“What am I doing?” I said to myself. I was about to confront the person who was last in my list of people I needed to talk to. I started to doubt if I actually put him in that list; if I actually wanted to talk to him. My head began to hurt and I leaned it on the steering wheel in front of me. I stared at the speedometer while I gave myself all the reasons why I should turn back and drive home. But I didn’t listen to any of them. I leaned back on my seat again. The steering wheel left a mark on my forehead—a think red line across my face. How appropriate, I thought to myself and started rubbing at it.

After I had almost removed the sausage from my forehead, I finally decided to get out of the car. My whole body started to shake as I grabbed the key from the ignition. I stepped out from the car and walked towards the fence the separated me and the tree. I looked up at the tree from behind the fence and shook my head. I couldn’t believe that I was actually there. I swore that I would never come back to Chicago. And now I was about to meet the reason why I left in the first place. 

I looked around for the broken part of the fence where we would usually squeeze through. My shirt got caught in one of the wires but I got it out before it could rip. I remembered then how Patrick’s shirt once ripped from one of the wires. That was the first time I had seen skin apart from the ones on his arms, legs, face, and neck. I had blushed when I had seen it and so did he.

The green of the golf course looked greener than I recalled. I looked down at my feet and started stomping on it. That released a bit of the tension that I was feeling. I leaned against the trunk of the tree and stared at the golfers that were approaching. We never got caught whenever we snuck in so I quickly climbed the tree to avoid anyone catching me.

 

I was finally up the tree. Instead of sitting back on the trunk, I wanted to lie down. I felt a bit nauseous being up there and knowing what was to come. A squirrel was crawling amongst the branches right above me. I watched as its fragile body glided along each narrow branch. I imagined how it would be if it ever slipped. Its tiny body would plummet to the ground.

I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to witness it if it actually happened. I tried to remember how this part of my dream went by. I opened my eyes and lifted my body up again. My head stopped spinning then. He came when it was dark, I thought. I remembered now that when I had opened my eyes to his voice the stars were glistening behind the branches, behind the leaves, and behind him. He looked magnificent. His pale skin was beautiful  against the dark sky. The sun was still quite far away from the horizon when I checked so I went back to lying down and took a nap. He would wake me up eventually.

 

My eyes shot open at the sound of rushing winds. It was already dark out but it wasn’t what I had expected to happen. The winds grew stronger and it grew colder. I held my body in my arms as tight as I could to keep myself somewhat warm. I looked around for any sign of him. No one was around, my dad’s car sat lonely by the curb, and the golf club looked like it had already closed. I leaned over the edge of the curb hoping I would see him climbing up. But the mass of branches and leaves were too thick that I could only a few meters away.

 

“Patrick?” I called out anticipating his answer. But there was none. I began to enumerate several excuses for him. He could be caught in traffic. But it was the suburbs; there is hardly any traffic. Maybe I might have awoken too early. But the evidences all say that it was already late. My mind kept arguing with itself.

Then a loud tremendous thunder struck. I looked up at the sky and saw no stars. It was all a stretch of black from behind the branches and the leaves. As I was looking up, a drop of water landed on my lip. I wiped it away with the back of my hand as several other drops started to fall around me. Then there was a crashing sound that came from afar. Before I knew it, I was soaked with the rain that was descending upon me. I lifted both my hands up to my face and watched as my palms gathered water in them. And as I felt the rain trickle down my face unanimously with my tears, I was sure that he was no longer coming for me. He left me again.

 

*****

please leave any criticism. I don't really mind. I want to know what you guys want to get from this as well.  I'm already in the process of writing the 5th chapter so hold on tight. thanks for reading!

   

I haven't updated on my 21 day habit in a looooong time. Well, I am happy to tell you guys that it is over. No no, I didn't break it. But I finished my 21 days! 'clap' 'clap' 'clap' My last day was on the 17th. Although I didn't get to finish the reading habit, I did get to accomplish the other two (water only & exercise). So yeah, I am used to drinking only water now. I no longer crave for iced tea or juices. And I do my exercise every single day now without any reluctance. I am very happy and very satisfied. Throughout this whole time I lost about 7-10 pounds give or take which is great. At least I lost something right? So that's what ended. I took down my checklist yesterday and I swear I teared up. I'm glad that I made it but now I feel like I'm not trying to accomplish anything anymore. But I guess I'll have to start doing other things

What began was my new job. Yes, I got a part-time job. I work as a call center agent; calling different homes about donating money to Native Americans. Yeah, I am one of those annoying people asking you for money. Friends, if there comes a time when I end up calling you, you better not hang-up on me. haha. I'm hoping that I just might JUST MIGHT get Patrick's number. hehe. (dream on). Anyway, this one guy was so mean to me. But I shrugged him off saying that "I was only doing my job." Hopefully someone else would be assigned to him. So, yeah. I have a job now. I finally have money to pay for all those expensive concert tickets. hehe

Oh ya, the back pain is from sitting here all morning calling homes. I swear, I might need a massage after this. Thats about it. Ciao, I gotta reserve some Incubus tickets.

    My eyes fluttered open; squinting from the bright sunlight that was beaming through my window. I laid there not moving with my hand hugging my torso. I continued to blink; allowing my eyes to adjust to the light.
     I slept throughout the whole night undisturbed. What was strange was that my nightmare did not torment me. I had a completely dreamless sleep. I sighed. It was more of a relief rather than a bother. That same nightmare showed itself to me every single night since my departure that I had actually gotten used to it but I never grew immune to it. Now that it didn't appear to me, I felt vulnerable. I thought hard about it. Something must have triggered it. Shoo-ed it away somehow.

    "You're awake, finally," I was startled. I rolled over to my side to see who it was.

    "Hi Pete," I said flopping my arm over my eyes. "Whats up?"

    "I was bored so I checked to see if you could come out and play."

    "I don't think playing house is appropriate anymore at our age, Pete. Haven't you learned your lesson yet? My mom said even though its just pretend, pretend sex is not acceptable even though we were pretend married. Besides, I thought you weren't a morning person."

    "I'm not. Its 3 in the afternoon."

    I uncovered my eyes and looked at my wall clock. Indeed, it was 3 in the afternoon. I grunted. I hated waking up late. I could have done something more productive with the time. Now, I've wasted almost a whole day. I sat up and leaned my back on the headboard behind me. I guessed it was jetlag. But then again, it could be that last night drained me emotionally that sleep was the only thing my body wanted to do.

    "What time were you here?" I asked rubbing my eyes.

    "I came right after lunch," he patted my knee.

    "After lunch? What have you been doing?"

    A giant smirk spread across his face. I knew that couldn't be good. He leaned his body towards me and, from under his butt, took something that looked awefully similar to my journal. Only that, it was my journal.
    I gasped and tried desperately to snatch it from him; swinging my arms in every direction, trying to pin his arms down, I even tried tickling him to no avail. I had lost the fight so I retreated under my sheets to save myself from embarassment.
    My journal, thick from the tiny papers and what nots that I stuck onto the pages, looked ragged and really old. A few of the pages yellow from coffee spillages. The spine could probably break any second now but it served its purpose. Clearing his throat and laughing, Pete flipped a few pages before he stopped at the page he seemed to be looking for.

    He looked at me and said, "September 20, 1998." The date didn't ring a bell. Not knowing what to expect, I uncovered my head and listened in. Why was this date so relevant to him?

    "'My first day at Glenview South was dreadful. The cafeteria food was horrid. Atleast the kids were ok. Except for this one kid named Robert. He picked his nose all the time and wiped his boogers on the walls, under the tables, in his locker... disgusting stuff. Anyway, nothing seems interesting enough to convince me that staying here is worth losing everything i've built back in California: my friends, my reputation, my life. Not to mention, this God forsaken place is too damn cold. To make matters worse, my heater just broke. I officially hate this place,'" Pete laughed after finishing the paragraph.
      I laughed as well. Just listening to Pete read the words that I had written way back made me sound a bit naive. Give me a break, I was thirteen at the time.
     He continued reading, "'September 21, 1998. Just got home from school. I have to make this quick. Got homework to do. I think I changed my mind about this place. Sure, the cold could probably give me frost bite on several parts of my body but what the hell. I think I'm going to be alright here,'" Pete  raised at eyebrow at me before asking "What changed your mind?"

    I smiled at myself. The sudden feeling of nostalgia overwhelmed me. It all came back in a heart beat;  in a sudden flash; like what people would see before they died but mine was only a tiny segement. A very important segment.

     While I sat quietly at my desk, our teacher Mr. Alexander was explaining how to reciprocate mixed decimal numbers to the entire class. He was greek, he said. His black floppy hair covered his left eye. He had to sweep it away with his hand every once and a while which made some of the girls giggle. His eyes were almost too close together and he looked too young to be a teacher.
    While I pretended to not know what he was teaching and tried my best to listen, someone tapped my shoulder from behind. I was startled for a second. I waited for the right time when Mr. Alexander was writing on the chalkboard before I turned my head. Behind me, a blond boy was looking at me; smiling.

    "Hey, I'm sorry for disturbing you but I'm really bad at math. I was wondering if you could just teach me this one part and I won't distub you again. I swear," he said to me. Of course I said okay. It wouldn't hurt. I was good in math and he was kinda cute.
    I taught him the simple procedure. He nodded a few times; I guess he understood me. Thanks, he said before I turned to face the front of the class.
    When the bell finally rang, I gathered all my things in my bag and headed out for the door but an arm grabbed me. It was blondie.
   
    "I know I swore not to disturb you again but I'm afraid I need more help with algebra. I'm Patrick." I'm Alice, I told him.

     I looked up at Pete who sat impatiently while waiting for my response. I smiled at him and said, "that was the day I met him."

---

    "Hey mom," I said when I saw my mother prancing around as I stepped into the kitchen. She layed a cookie sheet covered with freshly baked (what else) chocolate chip cookies on the kitchen counter before she lifted her head to greet me back.

    "Did you sleep well?" she said taking a cookie and handing it to me. I ate it willingly.

    "Very well actually. Its been a while."

    "That's good to hear. Now, where is Peter?"

    "He's with Dad."

    "Ah, he told me that you and Patrick talked last night. He didn't come through the front door. I guess he used the window again. You know, you could tell him he's always welcome here. He doesn't have to sneak around. Your father and I know what you two do in there," she said while pouring milk into two glasses.

    "Mother!" she laughed at me. "I have. But strangely and sadly he likes to pretend hes a fictional character created by a playwright in the 1600's," I said then Pete walked into the room.

    "There you are Peter," my mom said before she handed him one of the glasses filled with milk. "Have  a cookie dear."

    "Can I have two?" he asked as he grabbed one of the bigger cookies. He smiled at my mom; trying to look angelic.

    "Of course you can," she said. "Now Alice, tell me what the two of you talked about. Did he go to Africa for you?"

    I sighed. My mother really had no idea how this particular topic made me feel. I suddenly became uneasy. To make matters worse, Pete was in the room. I knew my mom well enough that she would end up saying something that would embarass me to the highest heavens.

     "Excruciating," I was reluctant to tell her anything more. She had a way of twisting my words around.
   
    I gave her a menacing look so to not encourage her into probing me more on the subject. She left the room with a very stern "ok".
    Pete raised an eyebrow at me. I didn't mean to be rude to my mother. But I really didn't feel like talking to her about it. I stood up from the stool that I was sitting on. It was only four in the afternoon so I decided it would be nice to stroll outside. I motioned for Pete to come follow me. He gulped down all his milk and came to my side.
    The summer breeze was refreshing. The balance of the cool wisps of wind and the warmth of the sun 's rays on my face released a bit of the tension I was feeling. I felt my shoulders start to relax.

    "It was that bad?" Pete asked hoping he would get an honest answer from me.

    "No," I said.

    "How was it then really?"

    It took me quite a while before I could give him an answer. I had no exact words to explain how I was feeling at that very moment; let alone actually think about the events that happened just the night before. He waited.patiently for my response as we made our way through the streets of my neighborhood. The neighbors waved gleefully at us. My parents must have told them about my return.

    "I don't know," I said. "He hasn't talked to you about it?"

    He shrugged his shoulders, "No. Haven't heard from him yet."

    "Really? So I'm guessing I am going to have to be the one to explain the details to you?"

    "Correct."

   I dug deep into my memory and tried to illustrate as ellaborately as I could what had happened. I narrated his movements, his facial expressions, and even the way he was breathing. I explained how he only looked at me for only a short while and he'd look away quickly. I said every single word he had spoken to me.

    "I had no idea," Pete reacted. "He never told me that he was intending this."

    "I'm sure of all people you should have known," I was surprised.

    "Honest to God, I had no idea. I'm glad. He's taking initiative. He's making up for all the things he did to you. He's being a man. I guess he wanted to surprise all of us. HA!" I had no idea what Pete was trying to say. "But be assured Alice, that he does love you. I know that for certain. Nothing made him happier than you did."

    "Oh really?? Not even the band?" I didn't mean to challenge Pete but I had to ask.

    "I'm sure if he were put in a situation, if he had to choose, he would choose you."

    "Don't say that," that terrified me. The band meant just as much to me and if they ever broke up, I couldn't even think how hard it would be. "Uum Pete, I'm gonna go back inside. I want to check if mom needs help in the kitchen."

    "Ok, I need to get home too. Gotta call Ashlee."

    I just gave him a nod. I still had to get used to him being with a new girl. Not to mention she, too, was a celebrity. I turned on my heel and headed back for my house. Pete strolled to his car across the street. With a vroom and woosh, he was gone.
    Walking back, I thought hard about what Pete said. Would Patrick really choose me over his band? His dream? His life? All of it was too much to think about. I looked down watching my feet as I was getting closer to the front lawn of my parents house. My heart was beating against my chest and it hurt. I bent over and clutched the neck of my shirt while I gasped for air. Tears started to roll down my eyes. Get a hold of yourself.
    I stood straight continued my walk. But it still hurt. The pain was unbearable and before I could turn into the walkway, I ran. The people of Larkdale Drive watched me as I sped faster and faster away from home. I turned the corner into Spruce Street and I disappeared from everyone's sight.


    I looked up at the Oak tree that stood tall in front of me while I breathed deep to catch my breath. This oak tree held memories deep in its branches. Memories that would forever be with me even if this tree would be cut down. I touched it with my bare hand and it still felt the same way it did the last time I layed my hands on it. The bark, hard and edged, cut my skin so deep that I could still see the scars on my knees, elbows, and palms. But I loved it. Here in the greens of the Glenview Park Golf Club, high up in this very tree, I hid countless times from the world. This tree was my sanctuary.
    I circled it, looking for the right branch. When I had found it, I held on to it and lifted myself off from the ground. They would never find me here, I would always say to myself. Higher and higher, I climbed. The branches stretching far from the trunk; so thick that nobody would suspect that you were there. I stopped for a minute, to regain strength. Climbing this tree was no feat back when I was younger. Before I could continue, I looked high up the tree and I saw it: my hiding place. My adrenaline started to pump in me. I ascended faster that before. Higher I went until I reached it. I stepped onto it; making sure I had my balance before I let go of the branches. I stood there on top of a bunch of wooden planks that he and I had nailed together ourselves. I laughed. I can't believe nobody has noticed this yet. I bent my knees to sit myself on the platform that lay beneath me. I was invisible. No one would ever find me here, I said to myself. I leaned my back on the trunk of the tree and shut my eyes. I cleared my mind. All the negative thoughts floated away. Since I arrived in Chicago, that was the first time I actually felt like I was home. I was home. Home sweet home. A tear rolled down my cheek and I slowly wiped it away with my fingers. I breathed the air that surrounded me. I felt safe now.




     "I knew I would find you here," I shot my eyes open. I was so immersed in my thoughts that I didn't even notice that it was already dark out. The branches and leaves rubbed against each other, driven by the breeze, which made it sound like it was raining.
    And at the edge of the platform, Patrick reached out for me to give him a hand. His eyes stared into mine. I scrambled against the wood as I grabbed his hand to help him up. Thanks, he said. His hands were soft and his touch was gentle on my skin.

    "You're parents are looking for you," he said smiling. I smiled back at him but didn't say anything.

    "I thought you'd be cold. Here," he said handing me a sweater.

     "Thanks," I said grabbing the sweater and putting it on. He sat a few inches away from me. He, too, leaned his back on the trunk of the tree. He titled his head back to watch the branches sway in harmony. I watched his chest rise and lower while he breathed the cold air. His right hand was only centimeteres away from my left hand.

    "I didn't realize..." he broke the silence. "how high up this was until now. How in the world were we able to climb this almost everyday?"

    "You got up fine," my voice was weak.

    "With much difficulty," he said laughing to himself and I laughed with him. It was difficult to be so near him and not be able to act completely absent. My heart was pumping so fast and hard that I could hear it in my ears. I almost suffocated from being so near to him. He kept looking at me with a smile on his face which made matters worse. Every time he'd look my way, my heart would leap to my throat. I wanted to vomit.
    I placed my hand on my forehead palm down and closed my eyes. What's wrong, he asked. I only heard echos of his voice in my head. Whats wrong? Whats wrong? Whats wrong? But instead of it getting weaker, it would get louder and louder until all other sound would be drowned out by it.

    "Alice!" he shook me with both hands holding my shoulders. I finally snapped out of my stupor.

    I placed both my hands on my cheeks. He was still holding me; his eyes never left mine. I sucked air deep into my lungs and released it. A gust of air escaped my lips. I told him I was sorry in an almost silent whisper.

    "Don't be. You just get me scared sometimes," he paused. "If you feel uncomfortable around me, I can leave you alone."

    I looked at him. My mouth was hanging wide open. Leave me alone? Leave me alone? Leave me alone? The echoing continued in my head but the voice I heard was my own. Seeing that he wouldn't get an answer from me, Patrick placed both his hands on the platform to lift himself up. I immediately grabbed his arm and looked at him straight in the eyes.

    "Please don't leave," I started to tear up. "Just give me time. I just need time to adjust." I was sobbing now. He kneeled down in front of me and placed my face in his hands. He softly stroked my cheek with his thumb. It tingled.

    "Never again," he promised. His breath blowed on my face. I looked down. On his jeans, there was a rip that I didn't notice earlier. I moved my face away from his hands to look at it. There was a cut on his knee and it still had not stopped bleeding.

    "You hurt yourself," I said as I held his knee.

    "I'm fine," he assured me. I asked him again if he was okay and he said "yes I'm good. Are we good?"

    I nodded. Yeah, we're good.





************
I know I know it took me a while to get this one done. Sorry. But it's done. I hope its ok. I'm not too proud of this chapter but the next ones will surely be good.

Since I'm already writing a journal, I might as well update you on my 21 day habit. The exercise thing is doing really well. I think I lost 2 pounds already. It's not much, but I'm not in a hurry. I finished the first book I was reading and now I'm reading this book called The Worst Years of Your Life. I started the water thing all over again because during new year's I drank apple cider. BAD ME. Anyway I went back to square one on that one. Well thats about it. Come back and check for the next chapters. ;)

Okay, I shall start by saying that I am glad I comitted to this. Since yesterday, I have been happy and smiling. Exercise does pump up your endorphins.

You can tell that my first day went well. I read my four chapters in the morning (I didn't have time to do more. I had to clean up my room). I'm starting to read Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk. For those who haven't read it, it is INTERESTING. The images that he portrays are very very very graphic. I still can't get that masturbation thing out of my head. Moving on. I did my exercise routine which I felt good about. I sweated a lot. And I lasted the whole day just drinking water while my family was drinking soda during lunch. It didn't bother me at all.

Today, the water thing got me a little. I almost completely forgot. My family and I went to this ridge called Tagaytay where this famous volcano called Taal is located and we had brunch there. And I almost ordered myself an iced tea. Good thing I remembered before I called a waiter. Also, I struggled because I was dying to get myself a toffee nut latte from starbucks. It was pretty cold up there so I wanted something hot. grrr. Anyway, exercise was rough today. I wanted to challenge myself so I made my exercise routine a bit harder. Bad move. I had to get cervical cancer vaccination earlier today so now my arm is being a bitch. I can only lift it 1/4 of the way. I just hope it doesn't swell.

Now I'm going to read my next 4 chapters. Hope everyone else is doing well :)

Got this one from sue, thanks sue!

    So heres the thing, it's been said that it takes about 21 days for a person to change/break a habit.  Well, I think its about time that I get off my butt and start a good habit for the new year. In my case, I'll be doing 3 instead of just 1. I like to challenge myself. But im starting a little early. By early, I mean tomorrow. Now i'll be listing down the 3 habits I will commit myself into doing:

    1. Since I've quit playing football (soccer) about a year and a half ago, I've been gaining some weight. I've tried getting a gym membership which was only good for three days and I no longer went. I've tried jogging but I don't really like the people in my neighborhood. Now I have this exercise routine that I really enjoy but can't seem to get myself to do it everyday. So I decided that starting tomorrow, I will do this routine EVERYDAY. This is the most difficult for me. It's not that I don't like exercising but I just can't get off my butt. So I will be needing a lot of support for this. I need your encouragement.

    2. I've been vegetarian for almost a year now. And I'm starting to think that my being vegetarian is going to waste if I don't have a completely healthy diet. I drink a lot of sodas, iced tea, powdered juices, and other things *wink*. So starting tomorrow I will eliminate all sodas, all sugar-filled iced teas, all fake powdered juices, and most definitely alcoholic drinks (certainly cannot be good for my health).

     3. Last, my reading habits have deteriorated ever since my friend and I started our shirt business. I'd like to regain that habit because I love to read. So starting tomorrow, I will read at least 4 chapters EVERYDAY.

     So those are my plans. I will need your full support. I'll give you guys an update every single day so that you can check my progression. I also want to encourage others to join me and the others that have committed to this. Wish me luck! Please do check up on me. hehe :)

** I made a checklist for myself so that I wouldn't forget :)



   

thats just spectacular. im gonna buy my early bird tickets now.

The president just declared a 12 midnight to 5 am curfew. :|
save us.

ok... so a little while ago I logged into my account to check whether or not the new photos I posted had any comments on them... they did... so that made me happy... until I came upon a comment posted by an unknown person....he commented on my FOB and Chicosci picture: link

I deleted his comments already because I couldn't stand his profile pic on my site... but I screencapped it for all of you to read:


yes, heinous isn't it. hold your anger just for a little while.

anyway, so I went over to his page and replied:


anyway, I do not understand why people such as ass-face comes here to buzznet and ruins things... its aggravating... I could understand if someone doesn't like fob... but to say that CHICOSCI is fucking better is just going TOOOOOO far...heeee hoooo.... anyway... thats it...

I got accepted to the Academy of Art University in San Fransisco.
















thats it. :)

It took me a while to gather all these up. It's hard. so anyway....

My top 10 bands

I was tagged by xxvikixx

Rules:

1) Pick your 10 favorite musical artists. List them or elaborate like I do.
2) Tag the journal "top10bands" so we can have a full tag page of all our lists!
3) Pick 8 more people to do this! Make sure to link them to your original post.(highly prefered use this to tag ppl...people who's music taste im interested in:)

sorry, I'm too lazy to post pics....

10. The Academy Is...
9. The Ramones
8. Green day
7. The Smiths
6. Incubus
5. Pink Floyd
4. Armor For Sleep
3. Punchline
2. The Used
1. Fall Out Boy

**not exactly my list of all time... but that's all I could think of right now..


My top 10 songs

tagged by sugarpunk

this is definitely easier to do than the bands list....


10. smile like you mean it -- the killers
9. starry, starry night -- Don Mclean
8. green tinted sixties mind -- mr. big
7. landslide -- smashing pumpkins
6. the way you look tonight -- tony bennett
5. a song for you -- donny hathaway
4. hallelujah -- jeff buckley
3. mayonnaise -- smashing pumpkins
2. honey and the moon -- joseph arthur
1. chicago is so two years ago -- fall out boy


***I'm not tagging anybody... you do it if you want to...

MY TOP 10 (in this case I had to put 12) MOVIES

I've been tagged by barbylovespatrick...

Rules:
1.You put here 10 favourite movies of your life
2.you tag maximum 10 people
3.you can't tag someone who has already been tagged.
4.you have to let the people you tagged know that they've been tagged.
5.you have to put PICS.

in no particular order....


Sleepless in Seattle... admit it, this movie pwns!



You've Got Mail... I like Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, can't you tell?

"Don't cry Shopgirl... don't cry"
"I wanted it to be you... I wanted it to be you so badly."


Breakfast Club

tbh, I was in love with Emilio Estevez after watching this movie...


High Fidelity

Who does not love John Cusack??
"What came first, the music or the misery?"


Pretty In Pink

Dude, I cried when she said "coz I don't want you to see where I live, okay??"


Mallrats

Snootchie-bootchies!!!!!!

Detroit Rock City

yeah.


American History X

I definitely wanted to seckz Edward Norton in this movie.


Edward Scissorhands

still my favorite tim burton movie...


Star Wars

ok ok... I know unfair... there are 6 episodes... so I guess I'd have to pick empire strikes back.


Can't Hardly Wait

you can have sex with me seth!!! (.__.)

Interview with a Vampire

MORE PLEASE!!!



**I'll add more if I think of any coz I know I have more... its hard to list just 10...



I tag: nicole0818 (you cant escape), stumplover2384, patrickstumplover888, mrsstumph, sugarpunk, sweetestangel16, hyperballad13, wideeyedbrowns, patricko, xsherxbearx

    "What did I tell you? This is complete suicide!" Joe complained to me.

    We were driving back to Kampala after the guys' short stay in Gulu. Unfortunately, for me, I was crammed between Joe and... you know his name. The potholes made the trip interesting and worse at the same time. Every time the "bus" hit one, it shook the whole vehicle which made my arm graze against his several times. Very uncomfortable.

    "You get used to it," I explained to Joe after we hit another pothole; saving him from having to apologize again for bumping me.

    After an hour, we finally made it to the Entebbe-Kampala International Airport. I hadn't been there in a while. It looked the same from the last time I was here. The only difference was that, last time, I was coming from the inside going out.
    The driver handed me my luggage. I didn't bring a lot when I flew here so my suitcase was light enough for me handle by myself. I looked up at the others who were unloading their belongings from the vehicle. My eyes roamed around the number of people when I saw him standing there; looking at me. I shied away before he noticed that my cheeks were hot with blood.

    Before we stepped in the plane, I saw him whisper something into Joe's ear. The look on Joe's face didn't seen amused. I hurried along to my seat before he catches me looking at him again. As I sat down, I gave myself time to catch my breath. Breathless. Breath-taken.
    Being around him made me nauseous and we hadn't even taken off yet. I recomposed myself; wiping the sweat that was rolling down my nape.
   
    One by one the passengers took their seats and I eyed Joe; reminding him that he was sitting next to me. The look he gave me was unsettling. What was wrong? We had talked about sitting together earlier that day. I could tell this wasn't good.
    As Joe sat down on his seat next to Pete, he stood there where Joe had been. Unbelievable, I thought to myself. I crossed my arms; irritated at Joe for agreeing to this. I could see that he was leaning towards Joe; saying something in a low voice. A thank you perhaps? I scoffed.
    I took my eyes off of him. This was making my blood boil. I was outraged. How many more people will betray me during the remainder of my life? I just wished that the plane would self-destruct the second it took off just so I didn't have to go through this.

    "Do you mind?" he stood beside the seat and pointed at it; shifting his gaze from me and the seat.

    "What do you think my answer will be?" okay that was a but too harsh.

    He said nothing but continued to take the seat anyway; as instructed by the flight attendant. The silence that followed after was ear-shattering. He starting rubbing his hands together. He'd do that whenever he got nervous; trying to avoid sweaty palms. And constantly I would remind him:

    "That only makes it worse," I didn't mean to say it out loud.

    He stopped -- as always -- and proceeded to lock his seatbelt on. The pilot finally announced our departure and geared up the plane for lift off. I couldn't believe that it was actually happening. I was leaving. I was going back home.
    Oh shit, I thought to myself. Why had I agreed to do this? I swore that I would never go back. This made no sense at all. I could feel my heart beating faster and faster. My breathing was quick and short. My head began to spin.

    "Are you okay?" he asked me; his eyes full of worry. I hadn't noticed that I was gripping the life out of the poor arm rest.

    "I-i-i-i-i'm j-j-just n-n-n-ervous ab-b-bout the f-f-f-flight," I lied.

    "You used to love flying," listen to your words mister. USED TO. How badly I wanted to tell him I wanted this plane to crash and have him burn and turn into ashes with it. But I didn't. Instead, I nodded at him and stared out the window; gritting my teeth together.

    Once we'd finally reached our desired altitude, I started calming down. I figured there was no point in acting all paranoid since I had no means of turning back. Unless, I could crash the plane but I would die too eventually.

    "Would you want something to drink?" why was he being nice? You are not fooling anyone evil spawn!, I said in my head.

    "No, I'm fine," I assured him; lying.

    I couldn't gather the courage to look at him. I knew it would only bring a whirlwind of pain. And I didn't exactly feel like hurling right in front of my mortal enemy. But he, despite it all, wouldn't stop staring at me. As if there was something wrong with me. His face looked "concerned" as if thats what he was.

    "Are you really?" he persisted.

    I thought about his question for a second. Somehow I felt that he meant something other than what he was implying. Was I fine?

    "Yes," I lied. Living well is the best revenge, right Saporta? I sighed.

    "Why did you leave?" I looked up at him then with the most utter shock in my face. All the blood drained down from it and I was pale as paper. What kind of a question was that?? He, of all people. should know that answer to that!

    "We are not discussing this, " I said firmly as I looked away.

    "Why not?" his voice sounded angry. Something I didn't think he was capable of. Not with me at least.

    "Because what is done is done. Things happened. Bad things. But it doesn't give us a reason to dwell in the past. Move on. I have," I'm surely going to hell for that lie.

    A couple of passengers were staring at us now; including the boys and the crew. I thought they'd be prepared for something like this to happen. A bit of drama was inevitable.  Joe was eyeing me. He worded out "I'm sorry" with his mouth before turning to face forward again. It's not his fault. It's not his fault that the jerk sitting next to me cheating on me for 3 years without me knowing it.

    "I'm glad you have," you couldn't miss the way he stressed on the "you" part. Was he trying to make me feel guilty?? After what he did, I should be the one to blame??? How dare he!

    I let out a gust of air; trying my best to control the emotion stirring up in me. I pinched the bridge of my nose; trying to supress my anger, my oncoming headache; and my tears.

    "You know very well why I left," I said so softly that it was almost a whisper.

    All he did was not once.

    "Patrick..." Its quite amazing how I managed to say his name. "I think the question here is why you left me."
   
    Remorse hit me. I soon figured that that was quite uncalled for. I should really learn to shut my mouth. I didn't face him. I was trying as hard as I could to fight back the tears that were barraging their way out from their ducts.

     "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," I apologized.

    "You shouldn't be. You're absolutely right. Now, if you would excuse me. I think I should go back to my original seat," he said before he stood and left.

    My arm lifted half way up; wanting to grab him. Truthfully, I didn't want him to go. I missed his smell; his comforting warmth. Then again, the pain of having him being beside me but not with me was too much for one small heart to bear. So I resisted and placed my hand back on the arm rest knowing it wasn't a good idea.
    My hands, instinctively, cupped my face. My sobs were hard to control. I didn't care if he or the rest of the passengers could hear. me. This weight was too heavy. I had to let it go.
    Joe ran to my aid immediately; rubbing my back. I heard him say "ssshhh" and "it's going to be okay" a couply of times but neither of those helped.
    I couldn't remember what happened after. I woke up to the sound of the pilot announcing our arrival  in New York. I don't know if I had stopped crying when I had fallen asleep. Or if I'd continued to bawl while I dreamt of that same nightmare again. I pressed my fingers against my cheek and it was still wet.

    "Feeling better?" Joe asked when he saw that I had woken up. I was leaning on his shoulder now and he had an arm wrapped around me. He pressed his soft lips gently on my forehead; his beard irritating my skin.
    I was glad that Joe was still comfortable with me despite my "disappearance". HE acted as if I'd never left. I was forgiven.

    "A little bit," I muttered. My voice cracked here and there. It was hoarse from all the crying.

    I freed myself from Joe's arm and patted down my hair. The sudden rush of blood to my head made me sway in my seat. Joe caught both my arms and kept me still. When I finally got my head straight, he let me go. I leaned my head back on the seat. From there, I could see Patrick better. Although, all I could see was his left cheek and shoulder. Good enough, I thought.
    The conversation earlier didn't go the way I wanted it to. I was wrong to have offended him like that. Even though I knew he deserved it, even just a little bit.

    Our connecting flight to Chicago wasn't until an hour later so I had a lot of time to spare. I decided I would call my parents who were, as I expected, thrilled about my return. I admitted that I, too, was excited to come home. I missed the cold. I missed the smell of the air. I missed my mom's cooking. I missed everything. I missed everyone. But calling my parents was a mistake. My mom, being the mom that she is, was trying to convince me that he only came to Uganda to bring me back. I, in return, told her that she was being silly since it was two years too late. "You'll see," she told me. I rolled my eyes at her distinct remark.
    Somehow, I wish I could tell her that she was right. That he had really come to bring me back. But who was I kidding? Even after I had left and Joe had "accidentally" told him my whereabouts, he still didn't follow me. He didn't come running after me. He didn't even try to call. Nothing.
    That's what I told myself everyday to brainwash myself into thinking that he didn't love me anymore. That he didn't actually want me.
    I said my goodbyes to both my parents; our flight was finally announced. I placed the receiver on its cradle and walked back to the gate.

    "That took long," Andy said handing me my bag.

    "My mom and I were debating," I told him as I locked arms with him.

    "I love debates."

    "I know you do," I laughed.

    Our flight to Chicago wasn't long. But it wasn't tolerable either. Every five minutes I would lean back, as I did earlier, and sneak a peek towards his direction. He was on his laptop the whole time. I would sigh now and then; somehow hoping that he would hear me. But he didn't and I would go back to minding my own business. Joe was snoring loudly beside me. I was tapping mercilessly on the window beside me. I felt like hurting myself by shattering the Plexiglass. That would definitely get his attention. But there was no point in acting all emo now. He often disliked that kind of behavior. So I gave up and put my hand back on the arm rest before the flight attendant could call my attention. But my retreat was a bit too late.

    "Is something bothering you ma'am?" the flight attendant said. She was hovering above Joe; still snoring.

    "Oh I'm sorry. I had this song stuck in my head," what a sad excuse.

    "That's alright. Just refrain from hitting the windows. We don't want that to break," she said before leaving.

    "Yeah, we don't want that," by this time he was looking straight at me. His eyes were intense that the heat of his stare charred my skin. I looked away before it caused any more damage.

    I started to pant hysterically as if I hadn't breathing. I began to feel claustrophobic. I lifted myself from my seat and squeezed out into the aisle; making sure I didn't wake Joe. I paced towards the lavatory and shut the door. I was breathing louder now. I needed to puke. I kneeled down on the cold airplane floor and recklessly clung to the toilet seat; unconcerned about how unsanitary it was. I thought I was going to faint. My head was whirling around and I couldn't control my swaying. I thought that maybe it was just turbulence. My eyes started to shut. I couldn't see clearly anymore. So I decided to lean my head against the door behind me.
     I don't exactly know how many minutes had passed. But I opened my eyes; surprised by the sound of knocking behind me. The vibrations from the door gave me a headache so I stood up.

    "Alice? Are you alright?" It was Pete.

    "I'm fine, Pete. Just a bit nauseous," I turned the faucet on and splashed some water on my face.

    "I'll wait out here for you," why can't anybody leave me alone?

    I cleaned myself up before I unlocked the door. Pete was standing there; arms across his chest. I stepped out of the lavatory to face him.

    "Are you okay?" he asked again.

    "Yes," no was the right word.

    "Patrick sent me to check on you. Just so you know," I scowled at his attempt to seem concerned about me.

     "Tell him not to bother. He didn't seem to care when he was sleeping around," there was my aweful mouth again. I turned on my heel and walked back to my seat. But he stopped me; grabbing me by the arm.

    "Unnecessary," he said firmly.

    "Sorry," I was sorry. I used to be a firm believer of the saying "if you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all".

    He let go of my arm and we both walked back to our seats. I slid back into mine while he looked at me again. The sight of his eyes swept every thought in my mind. They were too beautiful for their own good. I looked away and thought about other things. I could hear Pete whipering something to him but it was too low to hear.
    The remainder of the flight dragged on. Joe still snored beside me. My ipod ran out of battery. The flight attendant didn't seem amused at my behavior earlier so I didn't bother to ask for a drink.  I peeked at him a few times but Andy caught me staring at him so I stopped doing that. Leaving my seat didn't seem like a good idea either. From what happened earlier, I think I was being watched even more closely now. So I was left with nothing but my thoughts. Which wasn't always good. I reached down under my seat; feeling around for my bag. I finally grabbed it and pulled it onto my lap. I knew I had a book in there somewhere. I checked each corner and cranny for it. But to my dismay, it wasn't there. I was going to die.
    We were hudled outside the airport after we went through immigration and all of that. Joe had finally waken up after I dropped my bag on the airplane floor. I think the sound woke him. So the rest of the flight wasn't all that bad. The Chicago air felt good on my skin. Even though I knew I was freezing, I didn't put my coat on. I missed shivering like this. Most of all, I missed those warm hands that took away the cold.  They would wrap around me automatically. I didn't even have to ask. I leaned my head back and took a whiff of the air. It smelled good despite its icy feel.
   
    "Alice, your parents are here," Joe whispered in my ear.

    I opened my eyes and both my parents were standing beside, what looked like, a new 2007 Mercedes-Benz S-Class S600.

    "Dad, what is this?" I asked. He took my luggage from me and put it in the truck before he replied.

    "It's a car, sweetie. I thought I gave you enough of my brain to know that," he giggled and hugged me.

    I rolled my eyes and went over to give my mom a hug. She smiled at me and I could see that she was no longer looking at me. Instead, her gaze was fixated on something else. Someone else.

    "Stop it, mom," I told her and she removed her eyes from him.

    "I wanted to be polite," she explained. She wasn't being polite to ME.

    I waved goodbye to the others and slid into the backseat of the Benz. To be honest, it was really comfortable. But I couldn't stand the new-car smell. My dad smiled from the rear-view mirror; feeling a bit like a hotshot for having his new car. I rolled my eyes at him.
    Outside my window, Chicago still looked like Chicago. It was more beautiful than ever. The buildings were so high up that I had to squint from the sun's rays. The sky was a clear blue. The trees, randomly scattered, were a charming shade of green. I rolled down my window and felt the breeze brush lightly on my skin. It was cool and it raised the tiny hairs on my neck.
    We got to my house pretty quickly. My dad told me he would get my suitcase for me and that I should go straight inside. I stepped up the porch and stood outside the doorway. So many memories were hidden in the cracks between each wood panel. I sighed; trying not to remember any. I held on to the wood doorway as I took a step further. The house was filled of light from the outside. My dad had more windows built in. It had a nice feel to it. The furniture was rearranged neatly. My parent's living room was a spitting image of a room you'd see on the cover of an IKEA catalog. I guess having one person less of expenses had its perks.

     "Go on, honey. Your room is ready for you," my mom said pushing me further in.

    I got my luggage from my dad and walked up the hallway. The hallway was the same. Pictures of my parents and myself hung on the walls. I looked at each and every one of them. Then, I came upon one picture encased in a black frame. It was a gift a friend had given me a long time ago. It was a black and white picture. In there, I stood under the starry sky in my beautiful crimson prom dress; junior prom to be exact. And standing beside me was a blonde haired boy in a crisp white tux. His hand woven with mine.
    Tears fell down my cheeks as I lightly traced the frame with the tip of my finger. I took a step back and turned to walk to my room. Each step was painful. Those happy moments lost in an instant. Moving on was the hardest thing. I breathed heavily; trying to regain compusure before my mother or father saw me and I moved on.
    The walls of my room were the same shade of  pink. I didn't like the color. But I never dared to change it. That color was a memory altogether. I placed one hand on it and grazed the surface. It was the same shade of pink his cheeks would show whenever I'd surprise him with a kiss.  I smiled at that memory. The image of his puzzled face made me giggle. It was a memory I'd always enjoyed remembering.

    "Alice!" it was my mother. "Pete's on the phone for you."

    That was quick, I thought. I left my room and ran down the hall; ignoring the frame that had caught my eye earlier. I walked into the kitchen and my mom swiftly handed me the wireless phone. I took it and placed the receiver to my ear while walking to the living room.

    "Pete?" I asked trying to make sure.

    "Hey, I didn't get to apologize for earlier."

    "It's fine, Pete. You were given strict orders," I laughed.

    "Two years after breaking up, you guys still managed to fight."

    "Yeah," I didn't exactly know how to respond to that remark.

    "You do know he's just trying to make things right."

    "How do you fix something like that??" I asked him as I walked back to the confines of my room. This conversation didn't need to involve my parents. "You of all people should understand! You and Jeanae didn't end well either."

    BAD MOUTH! BAD MOUTH! What is wrong with me today?? I felt remorseful. I knew I had offended him. He wasn't talking anymore and all I could hear was the sound of his heavy breathing.

    "I didn't mean to say that," I apologized. BAD MOUTH! You don't say things like that to your friends!

    "No, you're right," his reply shocked me. "But I can't understand."

    I interpretted him fast enough to figure out what he was saying. He couldn't understand me because he couldn't see through my perspective. Because he could only see through Patrick's. Because he did the same to Jeanae.
    I suddenly remembered that one night. I woke up at 1AM as I got a call from Jeanae. "I've had enough!" she told me. Somehow I felt bad that I was the one who hooked them up. "He's with her now!" she continued to scream. That same night, she packed her things and moved out of Pete's house. I left a message for Pete that night; explaining everything to him. Jeanae didn't think he deserved to hear her voice one last time.

    "I'm sorry," I apologized again.

    "Dont be. I regret doing that to her. She didn't deserve to get hurt like that," he confessed.

    We were quiet after that. Then he'd said that he'd call me some other time and we said our goodbyes.
    
    "Are you alright?" my dad peeked in; checking up on me.

    I nodded and handed him the phone. He still stood there at the foot of my bed; giving me a look that got me fuming. Did he really think I would tell him? Before I had the chance to say anything, the phone rang. My dad picked it up.

    "Hello?" he said. "Oh hello there, Patrick. Yes, she's here. Do you want to speak to her?"

    By this time I was signalling my dad not to tell him that I was availabe. What could he possibly want?

    "Oh, ok. Sure, I'll be sure to tell her. Nice talking to you again. You take care too," my dad said before he hung up.

    "What did he want??" I quickly said.

    "He asked if he could come over."

    "And you said yes?!?!?!?"

    "Of course. Why not?"

    I gave myself one hard face-palm. My parents, my own parents, have taken the side of the enemy.
    I shooed him away before I could tell him anything that would hurt his feelings. My mouth seemed to do that a lot. I shut the door when my dad was finally out of the room.
    I couldn't possibly avoid him now that I lived in the same district. He wanted to make things right and I guess he wanted to do it as soon as possible. The sooner the better.  We might as well get this over with.
    I imagined different scenarios of how our "talk" would turn out while I was in the shower. Most of my thoughts lingered on the negative. One scenario ended with Patrick crying like a little girl in the corner. And another one ended in the same way except that I was the one crying in the corner and he was on his way out.
    I shook the water out of my hair as I shook the thoughts out of my head. I looked at the my watch that was sitting on my bathroom counter: 6:30 PM. Dinner is probably ready. So I slipped into a pair of jeans and a nice top. I had to look a bit presentable for tonight. Just as I walked out of the bathroom, my mom called for me to come to the table for dinner. I grabbed a pair of socks from the drawer before I walked out of my bedroom.

    At the dinner table, I kept glancing over at the wall clock; every single second that the clock ticked made me more anxious. He didn't specify what time he'd arrive. That made me even more nervous. I couldn't prepare myself. He could have arrived at any moment.
     I pushed my plate forward. The anxiety made me lose my appetite.

    "Can I be excused?" I asked my parents.

    "But, honey, you haven't eaten a single bite," my mom said.

    "I'm not hungry." I left the table after excusing myself and ran to my bedroom.

    I started to panic. Maybe he decided not to come anymore. Or what if he was already on his way??? What if he was outside of my house already??? I paced back and forth in my room. I couldn't breathe properly. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD!!! I wasn't ready!!
    I stomped out of my room and grabbed the phone out from the hall. Before entering my room again, I glanced back at the picture. I froze for a bit. The chills that went up my spine kept me frozen in place. I blinked before I realized I wasn't breathing. I clutched harder on the phone I was carrying on my hand until it hurt. I loosened my grip on the phone and looked away from the photo; shutting my bedroom door behind me.

    "Hello?" Pete said.

    "Pete, he's coming to kill me."

    "What are you talking about??" he asked irritated.

    "He's coming over. I don't know what he wants. But I know he's going to kill me!!"

    "Yo! Chill! He's not going to kill you. Like I said, he just wants to patch things up."

    I was still breathing heavily. I think I heard myself wheezing.

    "Alice, stop being paranoid. You'll be fine."

    "This is fucki-"

    "SSSHHH!!" he stopped me. "I don't like it when you swear!"

    Before I could say anything, a tap on the window caught me off guard and I dropped the phone. You have got to be kidding me, I thought. I bent down to hang up the phone but left it there on the floor. He's was outside my window. I walked slowly to the window; a second tap startled me and I had to catch my breath before I moved on. I grabbed the curtains -- my hands were shaking hysterically-- and slid them open.
    There, outside my window, stood the blood haired boy. But he was a boy no longer. My heart beat faster as his emerald eyes stared so intensely into mine. The tiny hairs on my neck stood with every blink of his lids. His red lips send my blood rushing faster through my body. I couldn't breathe.
    He stood there waiting for me to let him in just like many times before.

    "Explain to me again why you insist on entering through my window when there are perfectly good doors out in front?" I asked him as he climbed in.

    "I don't know.  I always thought it was romantic in a Romeo and Juliet kind of way," he explained. I laughed at his attempt at romance. But it was sweet.

    He stood infront of me then; breathing his sweet warm breath onto my face. It glided into my nose and tingled every nerve in my body. He traced the edge of my jaw with the tip of his finger and gently kissed my neck.

    I snapped out of my reminiscing; alarmed from the sound of harder tapping.  Blood rushed to my cheeks as I quickly swung the windows open. I backed off to let him in.

    "Hey," he said once he'd regained his balance.

    The sound of his voice was a melody. It had taken my fear away completely.

    "Hi," I managed to blurt out. He made my jaw tremble and it was difficult to say anything more.

    I looked away from him, turned on my heel, and walked over to sit on my bed. He followed shortly after; sitting farther than I would have wanted. We sat in silence; not looking at each others paths. It was embarassing. The sound of my breathing was too loud. Someone had to start speaking.

    "So," I began. "Why are you here?"

    He looked at me now; his eyes burning my skin. "I wanted to talk," he said.

    "What did you want to talk about?" the conversation was too slow for my liking.

    "Us..." there's an us?? I thought "us" was over.

     I didn't say anything. I couldn't. Too many things were going on in my mind that it was hard to put them into words. His presence was making my mind melt. Every single word he said caused my heart to crack and it hurt. I couldn't bear the distance. I was too far away from him. The pain was too much. I felt like I didn't know him anymore. We were strangers now. Our past faded away with time. I looked at him; motioning for him to continue.

    "Well..." he started. "I know you're not going to believe me. You're going to hate what I'm going to say. But you have to hear it. I can't just let things be like this. You didn't give me chance to tell you... how... how... sorry I am," his hands cupped his face; too ashamed to look at me.
    "I know I don't deserve your sympathy. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I hurt you. I'm a schmuck. You loved me with all of your being and I turned my back on you. I deceived you. You, of all people. You didn't deserve to be treated that way. You were innocent. You did nothing but care for me. And I don't even deserve to be here. I should be kicked to the curb.
    "But I am letting you know that I am truly sorry. My heart is aching. Its too much. I cannot endure it.  Every passing day for the past two years was hell. Knowing that somewhere out there, you too were hurting. I am a bastard for allowing you to feel so much pain. And the thought of that makes me want to kill myself. It's unbearable!
    "Seeing you now, I have no words to explain how agonizing it is. The look you gave me earlier tore my heart. I can't stand seeing you so miserable. And to think that it is all my fault! You're too beautiful to be sad!
    "I love you, Alice."

    Those three words struck me harder than a cannon ball would have. Each syllable rang in my ears. It clanged. I placed my hands on my ears to cover them. The sound was alien.

    "Listen to me," he said pulling my hands away from my head. "I DO LOVE YOU. Know that I do and will always love you. You don't believe me, I know. But I do. My heart wouldn't allow me to love another but you. YOU.
    "With every single cell in my body, with every waking moment, with everything I have, I will do what I can to make you understand and know how much I love you."

    With those last words, he stood up and slid out the window. The cold air blew in and sent more shivers down my spine. I rose and shut the windows and walked back to the bed; crawling into the sheets.
    Tears flowed out of my eyes without mercy. I choked. Breaths were harder to take in. I wrapped my covers around me. I was shaking but not from the cold.

    Patrick. Know that I love you too, I shut my eyes.
                                                                    That night, the nightmare was no more.

   
   
    

   

   
*************
'tear'

I was listening to such great heights by iron and wine while I wrote the last bit. Try listening to it while you read that part. Anyway, hope you guys like this one.


   

   
   
   
                                                                                                             

Ok, so I woke up at 6:00 AM and showered, got into some clothes, and brought my cousins to school (it was my turn to drive them). When I got home, I changed into my jeans and my bowie shirt and put all of my stuff out into the living room to place them in the car later. I double-checked that I had everything I needed for the day: change of clothes for the concert, money, camera, my tttyg album(for signing), etc. So it was me, my little sister(she cut classes), casti (nicole0818), and her sister Bianca. We left my house at 730AM to drive to the Mall of Asia for the meet and greet which started at 3PM. We wanted to be there before the mall opened coz we wanted to be sure that we got to be the first people there. One the way to the mall, I checked again if I had something missing because I felt like something was. Then I realized that I had forgotten our tickets to the concert back at home! Casti panicked. She thought I was kidding but I wasn't. Thank God her mom was going to go to the mall to pick up our sisters. There was only a little traffic going there so we got the the mall at 830AM so the mall was still closed and nobody was there yet just as we planned. So we waited at starbucks which was the nearest place to the m&g venue. A few people started to come shortly after we did. Exactly 10AM, the mall opened and my sister paced to the venue; saving four middle front seats for us. More kids started to come in from different entrances of the mall so there were about 20 or so of us there. The seats were surrounded by barracades because only a number of people are allowed to get autographs signed. When we were all seated, a security guard told us to stand outside the barracades and line up because we weren't suppose to go in yet. So we all stood and lined up outside the barracades. We could only go in once we've bought the Fall Out Boy CD pack (that included FUCT and IOH) which was to be sold in a booth outside the entrace of the venue. Well, the booth wasn't there yet so we had to wait a few hours. Some kids got impatient and ran over to the nearest music store and bought the CD pack there. But we knew if they bought it there that it would'nt be counted because it was suppose to come with a number and a wristband. So we waited. We made a few friends. They were really nice too. They told us how the concert the night before went. They said that the coliseum wasn't filled at their show. I was glad we had tickets for the second show coz I knew it would be the better show. There were these four girls ahead of us in the line and they freaked me out. I have never seen a teenie in the flesh so I was scared when they were talking to each other and they would start to scream. They brought gifts with them too. Not that there was anything wrong with that. They made them a scrap book and they bought four care bears that looked like them. Patrick had a hat, Andy had glasses, they put a crop of hair for Joe made of yarn, and they put eyeliner on the other one for Pete. Clever, I thought. The booth finally came at 1140-ish. But they didn't sell it to us just yet because they didn't have the wrist bands and the numbers yet. We were right. They told the kids who bought the CD pack in the store that they had to get their money back because they aren't considering those bought items. So those kids ran off to the store. The girl who was in-charge told us not to leave the line until we got our wrist bands and numbers because they were only allowing 200 people in because the boys had to run to the coliseum for the show. So we waited AGAIN without eating lunch. Finally, at 1PM, the numbers and the wristbands came so they started to sell the CD packs which came with the wristband, a number (mine was 14--because a few people cut in front of us), and a poster which all cost 600 pesos which equals to about $13. We finally got to our seats, we were still seated front and center thank God. By this time, I was feeling really nervous. More people started to crowd around; trying to see what's happening. More kids were trying to get in but couldn't because there were already 200 people in. The "host", his name was Jason, were trying to keep us entertained. Asking us questions and stuff. He listed down the rules. No pictures when we got to the stage, only one item can be signed (either poster or cd flap from the CD pack -- bummer. poor tttyg), etc. Casti telling me how much time was left til they arrived which made me more nervous. People outside the barracades would scream for no reason making my heart pace uncontrollably. At 330PM, the crowd outside the barracades went wild! The sign that they were already there. We could see people running towards the barracades to get a closer look since they were already in the little "tent" that were surrouded by bodyguards. Dre, Marcus, and the other body guard I do not know the name of went up the stage. Then Jason introduced them blah blah and said each of their names. I held my breath and one by one they stepped up on the stage. Pete, Joe, Andy, and PATRICK. I had but one reaction: -jaw drop-. Pictures do not do them justice at all. When they stepped on the platform they should have floated on clouds. They looked like gods. I'm not just saying that because they're gorgeous. They looked too pretty for their own good. How dare they say they aren't good looking. Every guy in the world is ugly now that I've seen them. They looked nothing like I had ever expected. The colors of their eyes blew me away. It was unreal. I started to hyperventilate. I had finally seen Fall Out Boy in the flesh. Check on my life goals list. Imagine my gratitude. Patrick said a cute little "hey" then let Pete do all the talking. He said thank you in Tagalog which is "salamat" and other things I wasn't listening to because I was too preoccupied at staring at Patrick. I got a lot of good shots of him. Then it was time to get up and do the autographs so I got my poster ready. Patiently waiting as the first few people got their autographs. Then it was my turn to go up the stage. Casti went ahead of me. Patrick was the first one. I acted cool and composed as I walked up. Casti asked him when they were leaving and all he said was "uuum, uuuum". Adorable eh? I think he was mezmerized when he saw me.... :|  ANYWAY, I shoved my poster at him and he signed; giving me the most breath-taking smile I have ever seen. I died right there. My sister, who was behind me, had to push me to move. Andy, as usual, said nothing. He just signed and gave me back my poster. So I moved on; still happy to see him. Next up Joe. Adorable Joe. He looked right at me and said "hey". I was at awe. I totally forgot to move. And I snapped out of it and gave him the poster; saying "oops, sorry. here you go" as I did. I could tell he was high. Just by the way he signed the poster. He really was. If you were there, you'd know it too. I shook his hand and went on the Peter. Security told me to hurry it up a bit so I gave pete my poster and after he signed we shook hands. His smile was heart-melting. It was sweet to see him smile like that. His eyes were kind. I told him "come back, ok?" and he said "really appreciate it". I dont know if that's the right answer but I really appreciated it too. I stepped down from the stage and went out of the barracades. The aftershock was too great to hold in. My eyes were getting watery. My sister was patting my back; trying to help me calm down. I was hyperventilating again. I relaxed and we went to find a spot to take more pictures. We got a nice spot but security kinda got in the way so I could only see Patrick (IT WAS AAAALLLL GOOOOD). After everyone was done, they stood on all sides of the stage so we could take better pictures of them. Afterwhich they had to leave so we waited near enough to see them leave; clear from getting pushed by Dre. That was the bad part. People were pushing; trying to get close enough to touch them. So security started to panic and had to hurry them. Pete was thrown around I wanted to cry. The look on his face was complete terror. Andy got his left ankle hurt from being pushed. He had to hop towards the exit. I felt embarrassed. I don't want them to think that people in this country are barbaric or uncivilized. But that situation would definitely bring up a few assumptions. But Patrick, even when everyone was screaming from panic and all the commotion was uncontrollable, was still smiling. I loved that. So they were gone. The four of us were happier than ever. We walked to where Casti's mom was and got the tickets from her. We talked for a while before we left our sisters and went to go to the coliseum.

It was a good thing the guys left early. Traffic was a bitch. We got there around 5:50. 10 minutes before they opened the gates. Casti and I changed into our shirts. Hers was her 'Wentz is Whack' shirt and mine was my 'Stump club' one. We fixed our things; making sure our cameras were really hidden. Cameras weren't allowed inside the coliseum but a lot of people get to sneak them in. We walked to the coliseum. Only a few people were there. So we waited until the gates were open. We went to the merch stand and bought ourselves some shirts. And at exactly 6 o'clock they let people in. We still had to wait for Casti's cousins, I don't know why. They finally got there and we went to the gates to fall in line. The guards checked my bag and I got through. Unfortunately, Casti got caught with a camera so we had to go back. We were going to have Miguel's (cousin) nanny hold it for us but I wanted Casti's camera instead of mine since the memory is bigger. But we didn't know where to hide it. Then, my brilliant brain, thought of an idea. What is the brilliant idea, you ask? Well, I'm going to tell you. I had the idea of hiding the camera down my crotch area. Yes, I said it right. My pants were loose so there was space down there to keep it. Don't laugh. These events call for drastic measures! So I shoved it down there and lo and behold, we got in unsuspected. We walked to the entrance of our section and the usher escorted us to our seats. I was feeling really excited now. Our seats were really close. 6th row, yeah! I was feeling good. We waited some more; talking and trying not to mind the annoying people behind us. More people started to come in. The hosts were right on time. They were DJs from MTV Philippines. 8PM the show started. The band that played for the opening act is called Chicosci. I hate that band. In an interview, they said that they were the Fall Out Boy of the Philippines. If they were the Fall Out Boy of the Philippines then I'm Angelina Jolie. They sound nothing like them. They rip off Fall Out Boy's moves. The worse part is that they can't even do it right. The lead signer looks like crap. No wait, he is. And they're songs are dumb. Take it from me, they're stupid. The only thing thats good about them is that they sound ok live and that their guitarist (the same guitarist of this other band called sandwich -- great band) is awesome. Other than those two reasons, they suck. Finally they finished after 5 songs. Then the boys' tech guys came out to set up their instruments. All four of them: AJ, Diaz, Kadaver, and Matt. They finished up after 10 minutes. But it took a while for the DJ's to come back out. They finally walked out to introduce fob. They did their introduction and their blahs. They left. And the lights went dim. People started to scream. I started to scream. The lights on the stage went on and they unrolled the Fall Out Boy banner. The after a few seconds, THEY came out. It was the most amazing feeling! They played 20 songs all in all. I'll be listing the song list a little later. They did a new cover, btw. Their peformance was incredible. They brought it! Andy was really bringing in the intensity, Pete made the crowd go wild, Joe was awesome (I was really excited to see him perform), and Patrick was stunning. I could feel his intensity. He really rocked out. It was the most amazing night ever. They threw their pics, spit water, etc. You guys are right. Seeing them live is unexplainable. The best experience ever. So here are the songs they sang (not in order coz I couldn't remember):

Play Guitar Hero!!!


The complete track list for Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock
The game is scheduled for release on all major video game consoles on October 29th courtesy of Activision.

Tier 1:
Foghat- Slow Ride
Poison- Talk Dirty to Me
Pat Benatar- Hit Me With Your Best Shot
Social Distortion- Story of My Life

Encore: Kiss- Rock and Roll All Nite
Co-op Encore: Beastie Boys- Sabotage

Tier 2:
Mountain- Mississippi Queen
Alice Cooper- School’s Out
Cream- Sunshine of Your Life
Heart- Barracuda

Boss: Tom Morello- Guitar Battle
Encore: Rage Against the Machine- Bull’s on Parade
Co-op Encore: The Strokes- Reptilia

Tier 3:
The Killers- When You Were Young
AFI- Miss Murder
The Who- The Seeker
Priestess- Lay Down

Encore: Rolling Stones- Paint It Black
Co-op Encore: Red Hot Chili Peppers- Suck My Kiss

Tier 4:
Black Sabbath- Paranoid
The Sex Pistols- Anarchy in the UK
Sonic Youth- Kool Thing
Weezer- My Name Is Jonas

Encore: Pearl Jam- Evenflow
Co-op Encore: Blue Oyster Cult- Cities on Flame with Rock and Roll

Tier 5:
The Dead Kennedy’s- Holiday in Cambodia
Scorpions- Rock You Like a Hurricane
Aerosmith- Same Old Song and Dance
ZZ Top- La Grange

Boss: Slash- Guitar Battle
Encore: Guns N Roses- Welcome to the Jungle
Co-op Encore: Bloc Party- Hellicopter

Tier 6:
Santana- Black Magic Woman
Smashing Pumpkins- Cherub Rock
White Zombie- Black Sunshine
Tenacious D- The Metal

Encore: Stevie Ray Vaughn- Pride and Joy
Co-op Encore: Matchbook Romance- Monsters

Tier 7:
Slipknot- Before I Forget
Disturbed- Stricken
Queens of the Stone Age- 3’s and 7’s
Muse- Knights of Cydonia

Encore: Living Colour- Cult of Personality

Tier 8:
Slayer- Raining Blood
Eric Johnson- Cliffs of Dover
Iron Maiden- Number of the Beast
Metallica- One

Boss: Lou- Guitar Battle
Encore: The Devil Went Down to Georgia

Bonus Tracks:

An Endless Sporadic- Impulse
Backyard Babies- Minus Celsius
Bret Michaels Band- Go That Far
Die Toten Hosen- Hier Kommit Alex
Dragonforce- Through the Fire and the Flames
Fall of Troy- FCP Remix
Gallows- In the Belly of a Shark
The Hellacopters- I’m in the Band
Heroes del Silencio- Avalancha
In Flames- Take This Life
Kaiser Chiefs- Ruby
Killswitch Engage- My Curse
LA Slum Lords- Dow
Dave says:
LA Slum Lords- Down N Dirty
Lacuna Coil- Closer
Lions- Metal Heavy Lady
NAAST- Mauvis Garcon
Prototype- The Way It Ends
Revolverhead- Generation Rock
Rise Against- Prayer of the Refugee
Scouts of St. Sebastian- In Love
Senses Fail- Can’t Be Saved
The Sleeping- Don’t Hold Back
The Stone Roses- She Bangs the Drums
Superbus- Radio Song





source: Absolutepunk.net


*******
eeeeeeekkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Patrick,

    You know I love you. I love you more than I am capable of. Do not feel bad. You're happy with her. And although it tortures me to the most unfathomable degree, It makes me smile to see that she makes you happy. It's sad. I thought I was doing it right. But I don't even match up to her. I'm sorry but I am leaving. I have to. The pain is too unbearable; seeing you holding a hand that is not my own. Try to understand, for me, please understand. I will leave no traces of me behind. It will be as if I never existed. Only your memory of me will remain but soon that would fade, I hope.

                                                                           Goodbye Patrick. Be happy. Thats all I ask of you.




Alice! Alice!
    It took me a while to realize that the voice that was shouting my name was not coming from inside my head. One corner of my mouth lifted. I was glad I wasn't having that dream again. I winced at the memory and shot my eyes open; trying to see had been calling me. It was still ringing loudly in my ear.

"Alice! Wake up! They're here!" my co-worker said as I scrambled to get up from the bench I had dozed off on.

    I checked my wristwatch for the time: 5:00 AM. This is ridiculous, I thought to myself. Never have I once had to get up so early for work. How important are these people anyway that I had to go out into a sunless day just to escort them around the district -- my newly aqcuired home. Atleast the sun was out now.
    I took a deep breath to compose myself and slapped on a happy face. I had to muster all of the energy I had left to bring about the latter.

"I can't believe they're actually here," Angela -- my co-worker from earlier -- said.

    She turned to look at me; a huge grin across her face. But it faded soon after. My lack of enthusiasm was not hard to suspect. I could tell by her facial expression that she couldn't quite grasp my indifference. I guess I never told her that part of my story. The one part of my life I'd darted away from. The part of my life I chose to forget. The part of my life that, everyday, haunts me in my sleep. She'll understand soon enough. For even at such a far distance, physically, it caught up to me.

"Oh my God! I see them," my overly exuberant friend squealed.

    So it was. From the doors of the Gulu Terminal, each of them inched their way out. From the looks on their faces, they seemed nervous. Afraid even. The first one, black-haired that angled to the side, slightly darker skin, perfect white teeth, his eyes wide, I recognized. The second I saw him, a wave of thoughts entered my mind. I cringed. Peter. Peter Wentz was his name. It shocked me how I remembered his name quickly, too quickly. I stood there staring at him as he sauntered closer to where I was standing.

    I took my eyes off of him to glance towards the others that were filing out of the doors. Two of them emerged at once. One was taller than the other. His hair looked like like a mop but curly. His beard very unkempt (but still looked good). He looked much older than I remember. There I go again. My memory flashed back in a sudden instant. Joseph Trohman, of course. How could I forget. I bit my lip. How could I not forget. The last time I checked these memories of mine sent me through the edge. I took a deep breath and moved on.
    Andrew Hurley, I muttered under my breath. I'd know him anywhere. His long hair and vibrant orange beard was hard to miss. He still had the same pale complexion and lanky features unlike Pete and Joe who's growth was undeniable.
    They, too, walked in my direction.

    I smiled at them but my vision was shifted from them to something, someone, that had caught my eye. And there, from across me, stood the last person from the "group". The sight of him sent my head whirling. A thousand images, thoughts, memories came roaring to me like a wrecking ball.
    His green eyes were visible even from under his glasses. His blonde hair shimmered in the hot African sun. His complexion still kept that youthful glow. He put on a few pounds, I thought. He smiled at me and I had to clutch my waist with my arm at that same instant. The panic was taking it's toll on me. My stomach churned wildly as he approached me. The other three stood back and allowed him to corss the distance between he and I. Distance, I shuddered at the thought. I shook my head; unaware that I was staring blankly  at him.

"Hello Alice," he spoke.

"Hello Patrick," I said in return.

---

 

    I sat patiently outside the Invisible Children office. The whole day was a blur. It went by so quickly that I hadn't noticed that the sun had already sunk into the horizon. The crickets were loud that night.

"Hey Alice," I raised my head. Pete was standing right outside the doorway of the office.

"Hey Pete," I managed to say despite my anxiousness.

"How are you?" I shifted in my seat to give room for him to sit next to me.

"I'm good. Great actually," I replied smoothly. I wished he couldn't see my hand that was trembling at my side.

"That's good. We missed you. We still do," he told me. I looked at his face; sincerity was painted all over it.

"Thanks. Same here."

    He took my hand, still shaking, into his. He placed it palm faced up and started rubbing his thumb on it. I figured he was trying to calm me down. We sat there in silence. The crickets and my loud breathing were the only things we could hear.

"Alice," it was Angela. "Jolly is calling for you."

    Pete let go of my hand as I stood. I smiled at him before I left him there to sit alone. He smiled back at me. I was glad he was there. But I looked away; a frown corrupted my face. It pained me to see him. It was a love-hate thing.
    I walked through the door of the office; shaking my head. Why was this happening to me? Theyr'e old friends. Why does it hurt to see them? I looked up; breaking my reverie. I regretted it right away because the second I glanced up, Patr-- he was standing a few feet from me. We hadn't talked since our greeting earlier. It felt awkward having him stand so close. I released a sigh.

"It's pretty hot here isn't it?" I was startled at his sudden attempt to have small talk. I had been quiet the whole day that I found it difficult to say anything other than "ahuh" and "mmm-hhmm".

"Yeah, but it gets better at night," I didn't think I had the strenghth to talk to him without my words breaking.  "Would you excuse me? Jolly needs me."

    He just nodded and moved out of my way before he joined Pete outside. I heard the faint sound of murmering but I couldn't get a grip of what they were saying. I continued to the next room where Jolly was waiting for me. Jolly Okote was our country director. Without her, Invisible Children wouldn't be existent.

"Alice, thank you so much for escorting the boys here," she told me. Her darks lips couldn't hide her distinct accent. "Would it be alright if you and Angele stayed with them at the camp?"

"Yes. I would be glad to keep an eye on them," I lied.

"Great. I'll have Michael check up on you every once in a while."

"Ok, thanks Jolly," I took a step back before I turned to walk out the door.

"Wait!" she called out. I turned around again; a bit shaken by her loud tone. "Ben Thomson called."

    Ben Thomson was our mission director back in California. I wondered why he'd called.

"He told me something very interesting," she continued to say.

    I didn't reply. Interesting, huh? I took a step forward trying to examine her face. What was she going to say? Was it bad news or good news?

"He told me to send you home," she said her words slowly and carefully.

    I stood there trying to understand what she had just said. I thought carefully, for a moment, each word that came out of her mouth. Send me home? Didn't she just tell me to escort a bunch of people. Didn't I have to work?

"I don't understand," I said in a relatively soft voice.

"You've done an excellent job here, Alice. I am extremely grateful. But I'm afraid that I have to send you ba--"

"No!" I cut her off. "You can't send me back! This is my home," I was bewildered. How could she do this to me?

"This isn't your home. This was your escape," her words shocked me. Escape. This place was more than an escape to me. This place healed me. This place was my drug. Sure, the stitches were still there but it served its purpose. "I can't let you stay. You have to go."

    It seemed there was no way I could end this my way. But how could I possobly go back? What is left for me to go back to?
    I left her office without another word. The fallout hurt like hell. FALLOUT. PSSHH! I pushed the thought away as I came close to the office's exit. I was angry. Why do I have to go?? I've worked my ass off here! Why are they kicking me out?? This was is unacceptable!
    My head started to hurt. I didn't realize that I had stopped breathing and I was pacing at the front room. I took a deep breath to supress my anger and stepped out of the room before I lashed out. Joe, Andy and a few guys from the crew had joined Pete and Patr-- him outside the building.

"Are you alright?" Angela probed. I guess she saw how creased my forehead was.

"I'll tell you about it later," I told her as I stormed off into one of our vehicles.

"Yeesh. Someone's in a bad mood," I heard Angela say behind my back. "Let's go guys, we don't want the cayote's to catch up to us."

    I could tell from the silence that the guys tensed up on the cayote joke. I finally heard someone giggle. I turned my head to see if they were following me. They were, so I walked forward. I could feel someone was staring at me but I didn't bother to look back.
    Angela caught up to me. Her eyes were wide as she searched my face.

"Do you want to tell me what happened in there?" she probed again. Her dark skin made it hard for me to see her facial expression in the dark.

"I don't know how to tell you this," I hesitated. It wasn't a good time to discuss.

"Just tell me," she persisted.

"Fine. Ben called," I said still hesitant.

"And???"

"He..." I really didn't want to tell her. It could wait. But apparently, she couldn't. "He has asked for my return to America."

    There was silence after. Of course she was shocked. I was shocked too when I heard it. I sighed. This was harder for me than it was for her. I didn't want to leave; more than she didn't want me to. I waited patiently for her response. She needed time to take it all in.

"You're leaving?" she finally spoke.

I choked at first but managed, "Yes."

    We walked in silence again; finally reaching our means of transportation. I turned to face the group of men. I waited for them to get close enough before I spoke.

"I'll be joining you at the camp. Just to be safe. We'll head out to eat first and then we can drive to the camp afterwards," they seemed to agree with my plan.

    I nodded once and helped them load their things onto our vehicle. Once all in, we drove to one of the local eateries. I was starving. I hadn't eaten the whole day. I was having an out-of-body experience, so to speak.

"So Alice," I looked up and saw that Joe was looking at me as I gobbled down on a piece of meat. "How've you been?"

How I wished I could tell him the truth. I chewed up my food and my words. I didn't want to talk about my feelings right now, "I've been alright."

"It's extremely hot here. How did you manage?"

"Well, I didn't really pay attention to it. I had a lot of things on my mind when I came here," I shouldn't have said that. I looked to the right. He didn't seem to have heard me. Joe just nodded at my answer; knowing exactly what I had meant.

"So you guys are global now. Wow," I said breaking the silence between us.

"Yeah. It's been great. You should have been with us through it all. You would have enjoyed it."

    I didn't really like the last bit that he said. It didn't go well with me. I put down my utensils on my plate; no longer in the mood to eat. I looked down on my hands. They were shaking again.

"I'm sorry. I upset you," he apologized.

"No, It's fine. No harm done. See?" I gave him a smile. Although it was fake, he seemed to believe it.

He nodded again, "What happened earlier? At the office. You looked pissed."

I didn't say anything. Should I tell him? It bothered me. Maybe he wouldn't react well.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm being intrusive," he apologized again.

"It's ok. Uuum... My boss told me that I could go home. I mean, she's forcing me to go back... to America."

    I waited for his response without looking at him. I shut my eyes tight. What was he going to say?

"YOU'RE COMING BACK?!??!?! THAT'S AWESOME!!" he said a tad too loudly. By that time, everyone shot glances at us. I took a glimpse of him from the corner of my eye. He was staring at me. I suddenly couldn't breathe. I shook the feeling out of me. Just in time before Joe grabbed me from across the table and hugged me tightly. "WUHOOOO!!!!!!!"



"Where are you going to go???" he said as I grabbed my things and stuffed them into a suitcase.

"I don't exactly know yet, Pete. All I know right now is that I can't stay here," I looked at him then. I knew this decision would make him sad. He was one of my best friends. I was right, I saw a tear run down is cheek and I ran to him; giving him a hug.

"You don't have to do this," he told me. His tears were making my shirt wet but it didn't bother me. My tears wet his shirt too.

"That's the thing. I have to. I can't stay here. I can't just sit here and watch him with her," my tears were uncontrollable now. There was no point in stopping them.

"Here," he said handing me a card. "I don't know how else to help."

    It was a calling card. Ben Thomson, I read in my mind, was typed on it. I shoved the card into my back pocket and hugged Pete again.
    Never, in my wildest dreams -- in this case, nightmares --, did I think that this would happen to me. I thought I had my life perfectly thought out. I had it clutched in my hands. I guess I was wrong.
    I let go off Pete and started packing again. I took everything I could. Everything. I even asked Joe, as a favor, to clean up Patrick's things of anything that had to do with me. This stung real bad.
    When I had finally finished, I stomped out of my room and headed for the phone. I always kept a pen and paper there. I started to write instinctively. More tears flowed from my eyes as I wrote every word that would send him looking for me. He wouldn't be able to find me though. When I finished, I brutally wiped my tears on my shirt. I handed Pete the note.

"Give this to him," he grabbed the note. He hugged me.

"Both of you are my best friends. I will support you with whatever decision you make. But Alice, are you sure you want to do this?" he asked without looking at me. "He loves you still."

"But he loves her more," I said squeezing his hands. "Don't worry. I won't be coming back. It won't be right to come back."

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too. Take care of yourself ok? Now, I have to go,"  my last words before I left the town I loved so much. The town I swore I would never go back to.




Wuhoo indeed, I thought and shuddered.









*****************************

WUHOO INDEED!! I was really excited about this fan fic. I hope you guys like it. I thought I would put this off for a while but I couldn't restrain myself. Tell me what you think and wait out for the next chapter. Thanks for reading!!